Archive for the 'God is a Dick' Category

God is a Dick - Part XXV: David’s Good Qualities

Sunday, December 25th, 2005

For David had done what was right in the eyes of the LORD and had not failed to keep any of the LORD’s commands all the days of his life—except in the case of Uriah the Hittite. (1KI 15:5 NIV)

Last week, we looked at the case of Uriah the Hittite. If you haven’t already […]

God is a Dick - Part XXIV: David and Bathsheba

Sunday, December 18th, 2005

David is one of god’s favorite people ever. The Bible tells us in several locations what a good person he was and how god felt about him.

As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of […]

God is a Dick - Part XXIII: Saul

Sunday, December 11th, 2005

Despite what some theologians may claim, there are numerous passages in the Bible which demonstrate that god is not omnipotent, omniscient or omnipresent. For a perfect being, he has a lot of flaws. However, this week we will be examining one area in which he excels. God is practically unparalleled when it […]

God is a Dick - Part XXII: The “Promised” Land

Sunday, December 4th, 2005

Lucy Van Pelt: I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.
Charlie Brown: What is it you want?
Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.

Well, Lucy should go to church more often, because real estate is god’s favorite gift to give. […]

God is a Dick - Part XXI: Capital Punishment in the Torah

Sunday, November 20th, 2005

It should be obvious by now to those who follow this series that god loves killing and especially enjoys it when people kill for him. The big guy is a big fan of capital punishment. This week, I have compiled over forty verses from the first five books of the Bible that call […]