Thank God
In the last few days, I’ve been hearing this seemingly innocuous phrase bandied about quite a bit, and it’s pissed me off enough to get me to come out of hiding and blog after over six months. It’s not the thanking of god itself that irritates me. If you believe in a god, you should probably thank him, her or it frequently. First of all, this is a being to which you owe your very existence. Second of all, whether the prescribed method of expression is saying grace, dancing in a circle, sacrificing a chicken or mutilating your child’s genitals, most gods seem to really, really like being thanked. A lot. In fact, it seems that once the act of creation has been achieved, most gods take up getting humans to express gratitude as their primary occupation. This raises questions about any given god’s need for validation or level of emotional maturity, but who am I to doubt the divine will?
For the purpose of this post only, let’s stipulate that a god or gods exist and that they are either omnipotent or at least unimaginably powerful. Frankly, any being that doesn’t fit this criterion probably shouldn’t be called a god, so I think that’s safe. When might be an appropriate time to thank this god? Well, for example, when one is viewing the wonders of nature seems like a good time. In practice, though, when was the last time you heard someone say “Thank god, it’s a rainbow?” Contemplating the simple fact of or aspects of one’s own life or existence seems like it should stir this sort of emotion, but one doesn’t often hear “Thank god, my kidneys work beautifully.” In fact, at least nine times out of ten, these two words only issue forth from the lips of someone who has recently experienced tragedy or near tragedy. Tune into any of the cable news networks the day after a natural disaster (so just about any day), and you’ll hear a whole lot of people thanking god. For example, you might hear something like “The wildfire destroyed my house, and my car exploded, but thank god I’m alive.” Hospitals are also a popular place for this kind of thing, such as “My baby died of Ebola this morning, but thank god I have another child.”
So, my question is why do these people choose to sing the praises of the lord right after they’ve been crapped on by life? “Thank god most of my goats survived.” Thank which god? Is it the same one that just sent an F4 tornado through your living room? “Thank god I’m in remission.” Did you thank him when he gave you cancer? People seem very willing to forgive the bad thing that’s happened when they are graciously allowed to live or keep some of their possessions. Would they be so generous if the offender turned savior was a human being? Wouldn’t it sound strange to you if you overheard a conversation between strangers, and one person said to the other “Thank you for taking me to the emergency room after you beat me half to death in that alley, stabbed me in the eye and stole my wallet.”?
Human beings attribute blame for the infractions of other people just as quickly as they thank those who have been kind or helpful. Why doesn’t god receive the same treatment? Why is it that when a surfer is attacked by a shark and loses his leg, he’s quick to thank god for letting him live, but he doesn’t seem to hold a grudge about the fact that this same god created sharks and/or created that particular shark and/or didn’t stop that shark from trying to eat him and/or didn’t make sure a better surgeon was on call and/or didn’t at least allow his very expensive surfboard to come through unscathed? None of that is ever god’s fault. I find it curious that a person won’t attribute the same level of complexity to the motives and actions of a magical, invisible being who pervades the entire universe as they will to the anonymous strangers who stole his hubcaps. Is an omnipotent being not (by definition) capable of good and evil? I suppose it’s uncomfortable to worship such a being and to know you have no choice in the matter. I suppose it’s what led early Christian theologians to torture a few snippets of scripture until they yielded the modern concept of the devil.
Whatever the thought process behind it, conscious or otherwise, it irritates me to no end. First of all, how dare you impose such limitations on a being who is capable of absolute evil right alongside absolute good? More importantly, how can you bring yourself to worship such a beast? How can you toss a fiver in the plate after your hamster has been killed in a motorcycle accident (must be a great story)? To do so is intellectually dishonest. It is to surrender oneself to celestial blackmail. Face the facts, people. God is a dick. (I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere.) For my part, if you could show me absolute proof of the existence of god this very minute, I would still choose damnation over worshiping that kind of monster.
~I AM~
September 5th, 2008 at at 1:22 pm
Christians all say the same thing when you raise this issue. It’s a test of faith. I don’t understand how someone can watch a sick child die and think “God is good.” I don’t know how you can go through horrible, horrible things and still profess to believe that it’s all a master plan that God has for you, and that at the end of the day, it will get better…
But it’s right in the Bible. It started early, it started with Job, and so they believe that, given the chance, they too will have something better, if only they don’t stumble in their faith.
I find it incredulous at best and retarded at worst… but this is probably the main reason I’m a former Christian. It just became preposterous that this God who was supposed to love me would continually shit on me. Then again, that’s sort of like my parents, too. So maybe that’s why I believed as long as I did.
I think most believers have low self-esteem… except the ones who have nothing but good “luck” and live idyllic lives.
September 5th, 2008 at at 2:05 pm
I think they do that because they know he’s a dick. They’re completely afraid of him.
Similarly, if I were a prisoner and my captors stopped beating and waterboarding me just in time to spare my life, I think I’d thank them too.
September 5th, 2008 at at 8:42 pm
You can’t really blame god for all his violent actions then. If I could go around beating people up I didn’t like, and they thanked me for it, I would beat up a lot of people.
September 7th, 2008 at at 7:33 pm
It’s amazing how this is what took you out of a six-month hiding. I’ve never commented before, but I’ve been a fan for a couple of years, and I’ve always enjoyed your posts. Thank God, you came back, and I hope you stay back.
You must’ve heard ‘Thank God’ a lot to write about it. I say Thank God a lot myself when something didn’t go as bad as I thought it was going to. I don’t mean to actually thank Him; I just wanted to express my relief and I wasn’t thinking. So I guess I can’t get mad for other people saying it even though they really do believe in Him and are grateful for all the horrendous things He just did. Though, I am slightly peeved them saying it brainwashed me a bit.
September 10th, 2008 at at 1:17 pm
Hmm, I’m the other way around. I can’t remember the last time I said “Thank God”. I’m pretty sure I’ve said goddammit or some variant in the last couple of days. So, apparently I subconsciously believe in a vindictive god, not a benevolent one.
September 10th, 2008 at at 1:43 pm
Well, YHWH IS the main god in this country, no? Over 80% of the population believes in a vindictive god.
September 11th, 2008 at at 10:43 am
when people tell me to “Thank God” - I always ask “Which one?”
September 13th, 2008 at at 11:51 am
Good post to bring you back blogging for the moment.
I particularly liked the part where you say:
…”whether the prescribed method of expression is saying grace, dancing in a circle, sacrificing a chicken or mutilating your child’s genitals, most gods seem to really, really like being thanked. A lot. In fact, it seems that once the act of creation has been achieved, most gods take up getting humans to express gratitude as their primary occupation. This raises questions about any given god’s need for validation or level of emotional maturity, but who am I to doubt the divine will?”
This divine need to be worshipped by god is often overlooked by so many that worship his awesome righteous egotism.
September 14th, 2008 at at 10:38 pm
Where have you been??? Anyhow, I totally agree with you. However most people are usually referring to an Einstienien god which is one that is defined very simply as “I don’t know” and “what is morally sound in today’s time.” Too bad this god was made up way after the bible and people think they are talking about the god of the bible.
Anyway, if it’s any consolation, I beleive Einstein himself was an atheist and used the word god to get his ideas across to people without scaring them about us “scary atheists” but you can’t blame him too much. Us atheists have a pretty long history of being persecuted, probably more than any other type of person ever! As the famous “Evangelical Atheist” that you are, you might know that more than anyone in today’s time. However saying that, I am on the side that ridding of all superstition world wide is the next big leap for mankind. So basically I agree and keep up the good work.
October 5th, 2008 at at 9:40 pm
I understand. I really do…. It is hard to get a grip on why bad things happen if God is Good.
To start to understand the answer, a first step is needed. God knows your struggle with this question. He knows everything about you. He knows what you are doing right now, what you’re thinking, what your feeling, your desires, your pain… what you’ve been through, what you long for. He is waiting for you to seek Him and only Him for the answer. He says…. Come taste and see that I am good. In other words, give me a try. A real, good and honest try.
I don’t know of any human on the planet that hasn’t suffered or lost in some way. This life is a long way from
perfect. The truth is that God gave us EVERYTHING and showed us the most extreme picture of LOVE when He allowed His son Jesus to die for us. Did you know that Jesus is God…. so really, God Himself, came down from Heaven and died for us to show us just how much He would give to receive our love. Have you ever loved someone so much and not had them return that love?
We could probably go round and round on so many things… but let’s close our minds and open up the heart instead. In your heart of hearts…. somewhere in there is a flicker of life. A deep desire for proof of God. I understand that also. I think God put that in there so that we WOULD seek Him. God says Seek and you will find. The definition of seek (to go in search of, to try to aquire or gain, aim at, ask for, gain)
God Loves you and He desires to give you a new life. If you’ve never given Him a chance…. SEEK and you will find, ASK and it will be answered, KNOCK and the door will be opened to you. The truth is that there IS a Heaven and God has had me stumble upon this website tonight, to again… reach out to you in Love and let you know that He is real and He is waiting to give you everything you are looking for.
Please, don’t listen to the lies anymore. That is the easy thing. The devil is the father of lies and he has got a grip on you. He will tell you right now to laugh at what I’m saying, to make fun of this blog and let others make fun of it with you… don’t.
Say this out loud right now: Jesus, if you are real, if you do love me, if you did die for me, if there really is a God in Heaven. I ask you to come into my heart, my life right now. Help me to see, to understand. I surrender to You. I am seeking You like you said I should and I want to find You. I am taking the first step. Please be with me to take the next one and the next, and the next….. I ask this in the name of your son, Jesus Christ, Amen.
October 6th, 2008 at at 8:03 am
This is in response to “Seek the Truth”
The people on this website believe that you are part of a really old cult and that cult is ignorant, ridiculous, and dangerous. What you should honestly try thinking about is the fact that in your previous post, every time you say “God” or “Jesus”, it would do nothing more or less for you or anyone else than if they were replaced with “Zues” and “Athena”, “Thorace”, and “Hor”, “Unicorn” and “Gay Baby.” My point is that you don’t believe in almost every single religion that ever existed, so why believe in one? What makes it better than the rest? What makes it more true than any other religion? Also why just this religion? Is it because your religion says you can only have one religion? Well isn’t that just convenient! I’m asking you to try thinking about some of these things honestly and truthfully.
October 12th, 2008 at at 6:49 am
Seek The Truth: …
If god “allowed” his son to die for our “sins” … why was this appalling human sacrifice such a failure? Has sinning stopped as a consequence of this sacrafice? If not, why not? Why did your god fail? He is supposed to be omni-everything isn’t he?
October 20th, 2008 at at 1:48 pm
In response to One Convinced Atheist
I guess you could say I am one convinced believer. I don’t know everything about my faith but I’m learning more each day and I do know that God did not fail. God sent Jesus to die for our sins. And I couldn’t put it better by describing Jesus’ death as an appalling human sacrifice. Jesus was God in human form, he died the most painful death known to mankind, and sacrificed His life so that we could live in Heaven. So no, sinning has not stopped in the world. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” But it was never Gods plan to stop the sinning in the world. Right now it seems like there was no point for Jesus to die. But Jesus and God are omni-everything and because of that Jesus was able to overcome death and save us from the punishment of our sins.
And as hard as it is to believe Jesus is coming back again and those against God are going to Hell and those that have dedicated their lives to following God and have accepted Jesus into their lives are going to Heaven. Its a little blunt and definitely close minded but it is also the absolute truth. Jesus did not die in vain. He conquered death and we will soon see just how victorious His life is.