Carrie Underwood Can Kiss My Ass
Carrie Underwood had been simply an annoying Christian country star and the foremost proponent of faith-based driving (thanks Jay). However, her latest single makes her a wonderful symbol of the inherent hypocrisy of mainstream Christianity. Remember when you were a kid watching Sesame Street? Let’s play “One of These Things is Not Like the Others.” Here are excerpts from three Carrie Underwood songs that combine cars and god.
“Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I’m on”
“Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There’s a 50 in ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here’s a map and here’s a Bible
If you ever lose your way”
“I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats.
I took a Louisville Slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires.
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.”
So, she’s a Christian and a psychotic, vengeful vandal. She’s sending both of these messages on the same album. She wouldn’t want to mess up her own car, so she asks the king of the universe to drive, but this guy’s car is toast. Several questions…
1. What ever happened to turning the other cheek?
2. Will this song kill her record sales to evangelicals?
3. Will Carrie Underwood ever date again?
4. Why is it that Jesus can prevent a crash, but he can’t keep her gas tank full?
5. Should I be scared that my wife keeps singing that third song?
~I AM~
October 5th, 2006 at at 11:42 am
Oklahoma may have more than its share of “both sides of mouth” xians. Living among them is not easy.
October 5th, 2006 at at 12:49 pm
It’s just a SONG…geez!
October 5th, 2006 at at 1:15 pm
So how has Colorado infected - I mean affected - you?
October 5th, 2006 at at 5:34 pm
So how has Colorado infected - I mean affected - you?
It’s made me happier than I’ve ever been in my life or thought I could be.
October 6th, 2006 at at 12:02 am
“What ever happened to turning the other cheek?”
You should probably know that this phrase isn’t suppose to be a pacifists response. It’s an old way of saying, “What?! That the best you got!?!”. Not exactly anti-confrontational…
October 6th, 2006 at at 9:51 am
Your views seem similar to mine - See http://bemusedatheist.wordpress.com/
Very interesting
October 7th, 2006 at at 3:19 am
RE: your wife
Yes
Just kiddin
October 8th, 2006 at at 4:42 pm
Bo should have won anyway
October 10th, 2006 at at 11:57 am
This is a sneaky way to try and convert people to your satan beliefs.
Yes I know that you atheists don’t belive in satan either, but that is the thing, you don’t have to believe in something for it to use and fool you.
Satan is using you, you feel it but yet you continue on thinking it is the right way to go.
You need to pray to God and ask Him to protect you from satan.
God is the only way to truth!
October 10th, 2006 at at 12:31 pm
This is a sneaky way to try and convert people to your satan beliefs.
Yes I know that you atheists don’t belive in satan either, but that is the thing, you don’t have to believe in something for it to use and fool you.
Satan is using you, you feel it but yet you continue on thinking it is the right way to go.
You need to pray to God and ask Him to protect you from satan.
God is the only way to truth!
OH! I get it now. Thanks. I’m off to church.
October 10th, 2006 at at 6:55 pm
All we needed was “Youneedmercy” to show us the light!
October 10th, 2006 at at 7:46 pm
You know it is true. I do feel Satan using me.
Once Satan called me on a Friday night, and asked me if I wanted to go out, you know get all wasted on Mickey’s Big Mouth, tip some cows, listen to Rush, you know….good times. I gave him some cash cause he said he could score me some “party favors” if you know what I mean.
Anyway I changed all my plans to go party with the “Light Bearer” and Satan never picked me up!
All night I’m waiting for his lazy ass. He’s blasting all of my “party favors” while I’m watching reruns of Hogan Heroes and World’s Strongest Man. No money, no fun, no nothing.
He totally used me. From now on I’m hanging with Jesus. When he says there’s going to be wine there, you can bet there’s going to wine there, and that little fish on a cracker thing he does is just killer.
October 10th, 2006 at at 10:56 pm
OT, but I finally got around to setting up my own blog at http://www.anexerciseinfutility.blogspot.com
I hope to find the time to continue adding to it in the coming days. Of course, as an atheist, many of the posts will be about atheism and religion. I hope y’all will come by and pay a visit.
October 11th, 2006 at at 12:46 pm
This is a sneaky way to try and convert people to your satan beliefs.
Yes I know that you atheists don’t belive in satan either, but that is the thing, you don’t have to believe in something for it to use and fool you.
Satan is using you, you feel it but yet you continue on thinking it is the right way to go.
You need to pray to God and ask Him to protect you from satan.
God is the only way to truth!
Has this method ever converted anyone? God protect me from the nonexistant Dark Lord!
btw, you got me laughing, Dull Blade.
October 12th, 2006 at at 8:01 pm
Well, it wouldn’t have done anything for me, had it not been for the
at the end. If this person cares enough to put a ! point at the end, then I’m as good as converted.
Lemon Curry?
October 19th, 2006 at at 1:01 am
In the darkness of the night (and life)…The one ray of hope is the one which most of you mock…Jeshua….Forget churchiosity and churchianity…Jesus is the real deal
October 19th, 2006 at at 2:45 pm
In the darkness of the night (and life)…The one ray of hope is the one which most of you mock…Jeshua….Forget churchiosity and churchianity…Jesus is the real deal
You Xians are all the same. Trying to push Jesus. You will be punished for worshipping the false god. Santa Claus is the real deal. Santa brings all good things. COAL FOR YOU! COAL FOR YOU!
Glintir,
Of the Greater Clausian Church.
October 19th, 2006 at at 8:17 pm
Hello Glintir,
Actually, I am different from most of those that believe in Christ…I really don’t care if you believe in the truth of Christ…To my shame, I admit this. The human part of me says that if you don’t believe in He that is true, enjoy the darkness….You and Santa can burn a few marshmellows in the pit of hell, as far as I’m Concerned.
BTW , It’s going to be a lot of fun to watch all of you mocking athiests on your knee’s, admitting that Jesus is Lord, @ judgement day…It will be fun to hear your explanation to the Lord, what an “Xian”, is….lol
October 21st, 2006 at at 8:54 am
There was a time in my life when I thought I could deal with life without help from invisible people. Then I got stessed out and I asked the empty air to help me, then something happened, and I felt good about it. Invisible people are great.
So clearly, I am right, and you are going to hell. You’d have to be a fool to disagree.
October 21st, 2006 at at 12:31 pm
“So she’s a christian and a pshycotic, vengeful vandal.”
Am I missing something here? I mean isn’t that sentence a bit redundant? Personally I be far more suprised to find a christian that wasn’t a psychotic, vengeful vandal.
October 22nd, 2006 at at 11:42 am
Hello Glintir,
Actually, I am different from most of those that believe in Christ…
Not that I can tell. “Believe or burn,” it’s all the same. Just different levels of emphasis.
But tell ya what: pony up some proof, some evidence that there really is a god, and we’ll talk. For that matter, how about some proof or evidence that satan, your god of evil, is real. Either one would impress me.
October 23rd, 2006 at at 4:48 pm
Hello Glintir,
Actually, I am different from most of those that believe in Christ…
Not that I can tell. “Believe or burn,” it’s all the same. Just different levels of emphasis.
But tell ya what: pony up some proof, some evidence that there really is a god, and we’ll talk. For that matter, how about some proof or evidence that satan, your god of evil, is real. Either one would impress me.
William,
As I have stated, I am a backslidden evangelical who will not lose sleep tonight if you continue disbelieve in the Christ or Father God.
I examine nature, even if only a single leaf with all of its complexity and beauty, I see the fingerprints of God….you see the same leaf as organic matter that has reached this point through evolutionary processes.
I travel over the top of Blue Mountains in Oregon during a an incredible snowstorm, that transports an aware person, into a coldly beautiful winter wonderland, as dangerous as can be… a vision of beauty with swirling colors that came from God himself…..You see the same scene, “it’s just a meteorological event”.
I examine ancient writings from hebrews that describe 700 years in advance, the man I call the Son of God. The Book of Isaiah displayed the Messiah that would come, and words that fortold a humble man that was also God himself, overwhelmed me….who never spoke like any man, who revealed the nature of God through himself…Who would look into your eyes, and you would know love..Forsake all and follow him..
or, he was just a simple bum charlatan that manipulated the minds of simpletons, as atheists seem to think.
October 23rd, 2006 at at 5:53 pm
Yep, no different at all. Just like every other christian out there, more than willing to tell me what I think and how I respond to things. But this is a blog, not alt.atheism, and I’m not going to take it any farther. In fact, I shouldn’t have posted in the first place.
October 23rd, 2006 at at 7:55 pm
Yep, no different at all. Just like every other christian out there, more than willing to tell me what I think and how I respond to things. But this is a blog, not alt.atheism, and I’m not going to take it any farther. In fact, I shouldn’t have posted in the first place.
I guess at this point I should say “sorry” for having put words in your mouth..goodbye…
I agree, we both should have said nothing…..when minds are closed (on both sides), arguing never solves anything.
October 25th, 2006 at at 9:37 pm
Whoa whoa whoa. not so fast Mr. Fancypants. I know you are still out there.
I got two points…
1) A lot of people “see God” and alot of people “feel truth” but that doesn’t make it real. I saw God in Philadelphia at Pink Floyd ‘94, Son of Sam heard God in the voice of a barking dog. I may feel that I’m not a bigot, I may feel that I’m being persecuted, I may fell that the house is huanted. That doesn’t make any of that true.
2). You assume Jesus existed in an historical sense, and not that the prophecies were made and that men then fit there scam to the prophecies, just becuase people like you buy the story line doesn’t make it real. Show me an historical jesus, it was only 2000 years ago.
You should argue on the basis of what is real and then try to defend your whoopdee magic. I realize that’s hard to do, but that’s beacuse you beleive in nonsense.
October 27th, 2006 at at 10:55 am
Yeah Leroy. It is quite obvious when you read the Gospels and the references to Old Testament that the author or authors are engaging in quote mining. Many of the phrases in the OT that are said to be predictions of the coming of Jesus are so out there when you actually read the OT quotes in their context. I hope to have a future posting on my blog about this.
October 30th, 2006 at at 9:44 pm
Whoa whoa whoa. not so fast Mr. Fancypants. I know you are still out there.
I got two points…
1) A lot of people “see God” and alot of people “feel truth” but that doesn’t make it real. I saw God in Philadelphia at Pink Floyd ‘94, Son of Sam heard God in the voice of a barking dog. I may feel that I’m not a bigot, I may feel that I’m being persecuted, I may fell that the house is huanted. That doesn’t make any of that true.
2). You assume Jesus existed in an historical sense, and not that the prophecies were made and that men then fit there scam to the prophecies, just becuase people like you buy the story line doesn’t make it real. Show me an historical jesus, it was only 2000 years ago.
You should argue on the basis of what is real and then try to defend your whoopdee magic. I realize that’s hard to do, but that’s beacuse you beleive in nonsense.
Hello Dull Blade……whoa..whoa..whoa… Do you really believe the bull #@%$ you spew? OF COURSE Jesus is a historical figure..It’s utterly incredible to me that even closed minded athiests like you, deny that fact. People that hated the idea of a historical Jesus, don’t deny his existance, just his diety.
Get Josh McDowell’s book(s) “Evidence that Demand’s a Verdict” concerning the historicity of Jesus. You probably won’t do that because you have too much invested in your anti-christian bigotry.
….As for the fulfillment of prophecy and what you percieve..”prophecies were made and that men then fit there scam to the prophecies, just becuase people like you buy the story line doesn’t make it real.” My response to you, is spiritual discernent…”don’t throw pearls before swine..” Let me explain in your own language…”Oink..Oink.Oink…”
November 1st, 2006 at at 1:58 pm
Leroy said:
“BTW , It’s going to be a lot of fun to watch all of you mocking athiests on your knee’s, admitting that Jesus is Lord, @ judgement day…It will be fun to hear your explanation to the Lord, what an “Xian”, is….lol”
I undestand you do not care whether atheists believe or not (though you still try to argue with us), or whether we burn in hell or not, but I just don’t feel the christian love when you profess to enjoy the anticipation of watching all heathens bow and die at the hands of your merciful lord jesus.
The fact that you would take pleasure in watching anyone suffer now or in your afterlife speaks volumes to your hatred and lack of character as a human-being. But I’m sure your god not only forgives you, but would reward you for your loyalty if only he existed.
I could not call anyplace heaven if I made it through the gates only to know family, friends and others were in eternal torment below. Doesn’t sound blissful to me, nor does it sound like an all-loving god. If god existed, it is more likely he is a cartesian demon.
November 1st, 2006 at at 3:03 pm
Leroy said:
“BTW , It’s going to be a lot of fun to watch all of you mocking athiests on your knee’s, admitting that Jesus is Lord, @ judgement day…It will be fun to hear your explanation to the Lord, what an “Xian”, is….lol”
I undestand you do not care whether atheists believe or not (though you still try to argue with us), or whether we burn in hell or not, but I just don’t feel the christian love when you profess to enjoy the anticipation of watching all heathens bow and die at the hands of your merciful lord jesus.
The fact that you would take pleasure in watching anyone suffer now or in your afterlife speaks volumes to your hatred and lack of character as a human-being. But I’m sure your god not only forgives you, but would reward you for your loyalty if only he existed.
I could not call anyplace heaven if I made it through the gates only to know family, friends and others were in eternal torment below. Doesn’t sound blissful to me, nor does it sound like an all-loving god. If god existed, it is more likely he is a cartesian demon.
If you read the context of my statement, I was responding to a smart aleck posting from another that was mocking Christ (being as real as Santa Claus) and calling believers Xians. Your right, I don’t have much sympathy for those that mock christians and christianity, who’s sole purpose is to belittle those that have a pure faith in Christ. I won’t have any sympathy for those athiests that try to turn people away from the One who wants to save everyone. So if you spend a life trying to persuade people to deny the truth of God and Christ causing others to lose their way, you DESERVE to burn in hell. You want some Christian love?… go to the source.
As for me, I refuse to kiss your @ss, spiritually speaking.
November 2nd, 2006 at at 6:18 am
Ooh! Que local grande. Eu emiti-lo-ei a todos meus amigos.
November 2nd, 2006 at at 6:19 am
Ooh! Que local grande. Eu emiti-lo-ei a todos meus amigos.
November 2nd, 2006 at at 6:35 am
Ooh! Que local grande. Eu emiti-lo-ei a todos meus amigos.
November 2nd, 2006 at at 6:59 am
Ooh! Que local grande. Eu emiti-lo-ei a todos meus amigos.
November 2nd, 2006 at at 7:53 pm
Ooh! Que local grande. Eu emiti-lo-ei a todos meus amigos.
November 3rd, 2006 at at 11:19 am
Leroy, why don’t you take a hike. Unless you are here to engage in some meaningful dialog, nobody here cares what you have to say.
July 26th, 2007 at at 9:16 pm
[…] Carrie Underwood Can Kiss My A$$ The Evangelical Atheist ? Blog Archive ? Carrie Underwood Can Kiss My Ass Taken from the "Evangelical Atheist" Carrie Underwood Can Kiss My AssCarrie Underwood had been simply an annoying Christian country star and the foremost proponent of faith-based driving (thanks Jay). However, her latest single makes her a wonderful symbol of the inherent hypocrisy of mainstream Christianity. Remember when you were a kid watching Sesame Street? Let?s play ?One of These Things is Not Like the Others.? Here are excerpts from three Carrie Underwood songs that combine cars and god. ?Jesus take the wheel Take it from my hands Cause I can?t do this on my own I?m letting go So give me one more chance To save me from this road I?m on? ?Before you hit the highway You better stop for gas There?s a 50 in ashtray In case you run short on cash Here?s a map and here?s a Bible If you ever lose your way? ?I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville Slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires. Maybe next time he?ll think before he cheats.? So, she?s a Christian and a psychotic, vengeful vandal. She?s sending both of these messages on the same album. She wouldn?t want to mess up her own car, so she asks the king of the universe to drive, but this guy?s car is toast. Several questions? 1. What ever happened to turning the other cheek? 2. Will this song kill her record sales to evangelicals? 3. Will Carrie Underwood ever date again? 4. Why is it that Jesus can prevent a crash, but he can?t keep her gas tank full? 5. Should I be scared that my wife keeps singing that third song? ~I AM~ All I can say is this guy needs some help… […]