Grand Reopening
Greetings from the Centennial State. I have furniture and an internet connection now, so I’m back in business. If you ever consider moving cross-country while starting a new business from scratch, don’t. If I’ve learned anything in the last two months, it’s that.
I’ve been in Colorado for less than two weeks now, but I can already tell you that living here will provide me with good blogging material for a long, long time. I knew there would be a big difference from New York, but I wasn’t quite prepared. There are no fewer than 7 Christian radio stations in the Denver area. Where I am (30-45 minutes from Denver), you can’t spit without hitting a church. I haven’t changed my license plates yet, but the evidence I’ve seen indicates that I will be issued my choice of a Jesus fish, God Bless America magnet or Bush / Cheney bumper sticker with my Colorado tags. Hell, god even shows up in the state seal. Ah, there is much work for me to do here.
I’ve actually already found a point of accord with some of the locals. I was in a gun shop the other day, buying a shotgun. While they were on hold with “our government” waiting to find out if I’m a homicidal maniac, we got to talking. They have a little 9/11 memorial on the counter, and we started discussing Islam. Now, I don’t want to start calling names, but these gentlemen were… shall we say… a bit more rubicund in the nape region than am I. Despite that, they have completely swallowed the PC crap constantly pumped out by the administration and all of the cable news channels for the last four years that Islam is a peaceful religion. I told them they should read the Qur’an for the real story. Anyhow, I wound up stating my position that religion should be taught in all public and private schools. They wholeheartedly agreed. I considered explaining my position further, but decided that a gun shop owned by evangelical Christians is not the ideal place to make a stand. Never argue religion with an armed adversary. If more people accepted that simple rule of thumb, I’d finally be able to go on that trip I’ve always wanted to take to Israel.
So, that’s just a little taste of my new world. I may revisit some of these topics in more developed posts, but there are plenty of others I want to tackle, as well. Stay tuned.
For those of you who got hooked early on, you’ll be happy to know that Calendar of Credulity will return. I don’t know if I’ll do it this Sunday, but I will certainly restart it by next weekend.
~I AM~
June 3rd, 2006 at at 4:54 am
Good for you, Yammy.
I think.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 7:38 am
…a shotgun?
Anywho, welcome back to the www.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 7:47 am
I have a 20 gauge pump under my bed, fully loaded, on safety. No kids in the house. I don’t play around when it comes to home defense, and if someone breaks into my house, unless I can clearly see no weapon, I’ll shoot first and ensure my wife’s (and my own, and my dogs’) safety, then ask questions later. My outlook is simple: if you break into my house in the middle of the night, you forfeit your right to life, because I assume you are coming in to do me and my family lethal harm.
On the sunny side, I have only bird shot in the gun, so it will probably not be fatal unless they are pretty close. I want a nice spread and don’t necessarily want to kill, just maim until the authorities arrive.
Oh well…maybe I’m not resonating with you, perhaps my neck is too red.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 8:39 am
I have a 20 gauge pump under my bed, fully loaded, on safety. No kids in the house. I don’t play around when it comes to home defense, and if someone breaks into my house, unless I can clearly see no weapon, I’ll shoot first and ensure my wife’s (and my own, and my dogs’) safety, then ask questions later. My outlook is simple: if you break into my house in the middle of the night, you forfeit your right to life, because I assume you are coming in to do me and my family lethal harm.
On the sunny side, I have only bird shot in the gun, so it will probably not be fatal unless they are pretty close. I want a nice spread and don’t necessarily want to kill, just maim until the authorities arrive.
Oh well…maybe I’m not resonating with you, perhaps my neck is too red.
I’m right there with you, except for a couple of points. I have a 12 gauge and it’s loaded with buckshot. I have no intention of shooting anything I don’t want to kill. Anyway, where I am, I’m more concerned about a bear in my living room than a burglar.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 8:40 am
Hoooray!
Glad to have you back I Am. And remember the Jesus fish are a good thing. It’s important that these people are clearly labeled.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 8:42 am
Oh… and I have a 9mm automatic Taurus.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 1:20 pm
And, has thou returned to the internet?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 1:25 pm
Regarding your shotgunnery, I will say I am a pacifist and assume that conveys my revulsion enough.
On the other hand, I think I shall quote George Harrison, who wisely stated (para.) “If everybody who has a gun just shot themselves, we’d have no problem.”
June 3rd, 2006 at at 3:06 pm
Psst. Shotguns. Me, I never leave home with out my trusty gym socks stuffed with grenades and nails.
For bears, of course.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 3:46 pm
I carry a big pointy stick…you know, for the local conservatives.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 5:15 pm
Welcome back, I AM. Glad to know you’re back up and running. Can’t wait for the next Calendar of Credulity piece
June 3rd, 2006 at at 9:15 pm
Come on now. I’m a liberal, and a pot-smokin’ hippy. But I have a gun. I never shot anyone, and I hope I never have to. But if I ever have to stand against another man, my pistol makes me a match for any man, be they a thug, rapist, soldier, or ninja. There is no problem with possessing deadly force. A machette, or baseball bat, ax, or box cutter can be a deadly weapon, and without my pistol, the man with an ax or baseball bat, or machette will KILL ME! If I have my pistol, I am a match for those people. If they have a pistol, then we may be equally matched and my intellect, agility, or intestinal fortitude, may save the day, maybe not.
Be it a killer or a coyote, be it the government turning on its people, or a foamy Old Yeller, the fact that I posses deadly force is not a problem for anyone.
If I was a crazy-crack-head or a Republican your arguement may be stronger, but I reserve the right to own a firearm, and to be responsible. If I am irresponsible, you may punish me as the law sees fit.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 9:23 pm
Thankfully we don’t have a gun problem here in australia. We have a far lower crime rate and far less gun ownership.
June 3rd, 2006 at at 9:56 pm
Regarding your shotgunnery, I will say I am a pacifist and assume that conveys my revulsion enough.
On the other hand, I think I shall quote George Harrison, who wisely stated (para.) “If everybody who has a gun just shot themselves, we’d have no problem.”
… a mimsy argument
June 4th, 2006 at at 1:44 am
Welcome back I AM
June 4th, 2006 at at 6:35 am
Thankfully we don’t have a gun problem here in australia. We have a far lower crime rate and far less gun ownership.
and far fewer people, spread out over an area approximately the same size as the US. Australia is like removing everyone from the US except those who live in New York City and spreading those people around the rest of the country. Smaller population densities always result in lower crime rates. Also, keep in mind, the vast majority of crimes committed in the US are committed without a gun.
June 4th, 2006 at at 8:31 am
As a new yorker ill miss having a sane mind in this state..Good luck out there ..
June 4th, 2006 at at 5:27 pm
Well, when you frame it that way my badly quoted George Harrison argument just falls flat on it’s face.
I suppose I’ll let this slide. Choose your battles, right?
June 4th, 2006 at at 5:35 pm
Welcome back and congrats on a successful transition. Remember, in Colorado gun control is spelled A S T E A D Y H A N D
June 4th, 2006 at at 6:31 pm
mathyoo,
If you have studied your geography, you would have known that most of Australia is uninhabited.
By the way, my point was not that guns are the cause of violence but that I’m happy that most people living around me don’t own a gun.
June 4th, 2006 at at 6:42 pm
Did anyone ever shoot Jason from Friday the 13th in the head with a shotgun? I know he’s tough and all, but that would be really tough. That’s why I never liked movies like Alligator or Jurassic Park or Them (actully Them was pretty cool) “O my God a dinosaur!!” :”Hey, why don’t we shoot it.”
No one has a .357 when that pesky raptor is coming to eat you. I think in Jurassic park 2, a platoon of Marines land on an island and all get eaten by dinosaurs. But I don’t think any of them actually shoot. Funny that.
How about Chucky? A shotgun would end that movie pretty fast. Gremlins, Critters, That little dude from Trilogy of Terror. Man, I wish some evil little monster was trying to kill me and I had a shotgun…. yeah That’d be cool….ummm…..yeah,but I digress.
June 5th, 2006 at at 7:42 am
Wow,
An Evangelical Gun Totin’ Pistol Packing Atheist!
June 5th, 2006 at at 11:13 am
An Evangelical Gun Totin’ Pistol Packing Atheist!
I smell a sitcom!
June 5th, 2006 at at 1:46 pm
Glad to see you’re back!
June 5th, 2006 at at 9:32 pm
“O Brave new world that has such people in it”. Sounds like you’ll have plenty of fun.
June 6th, 2006 at at 7:24 am
Don’t tell me anything more about the “bible belt”. You are frightening me.
Seriously, the idea of living with the “religious borg” scares the heck out of me.
June 6th, 2006 at at 11:49 am
Welcome back! I can’t imagine moving, let alone while starting a business. I don’t like to think about packing all of the stuff in my aprartment. And that doesn’t include all my stuff back in Jersey.
June 6th, 2006 at at 10:15 pm
Seriously, the idea of living with the “religious borg” scares the heck out of me.
You mean there’s a place without them?!
June 7th, 2006 at at 5:24 am
I think we should encourage Americans to buy more guns. Eventually they will all shoot each other and us Brits can have our land back.
June 7th, 2006 at at 9:21 am
Hip, hip, hooray!
Thank god you’re back. Wait. That’s not right.
I’m out of practice. Sorry.
June 7th, 2006 at at 1:26 pm
I think we should encourage Americans to buy more guns. Eventually they will all shoot each other and us Brits can have our land back.
No way, Indians are waiting for the same !!
June 8th, 2006 at at 11:44 pm
Welcome to the region. I live just North of you in the Wilds of Wyoming, but I’m originally from Colorado. You think you got problems with Bushies/fundies down there? This state is about as red as they come. (Remember when red meant commie?) I know that not all fundies are Bushies and vice versa, but in Wyoming it’s a good way to bet that your neighboor is both. Up here they eat red meat for desert, carry guns because they can, drive trucks over hybrids, and have specific laws about shootin’ liberal atheists, “…shall not discharge firearms within 50 feet of any house of Gawd, cept to right a lefty heathen.” If you need help with translation, let me know. (Hint: Locals pronounce the “a” in Colorado as a short a, like in “hat.”) If I can’t translate I can at least commiserate.
June 9th, 2006 at at 4:22 pm
June 9th, 2006 at at 4:27 pm
Hmmmm. I obviously did something wrong.
Well its Friday, I’m sure i can find a remedy. Everyone enjoy the weekend!
June 11th, 2006 at at 10:01 am
I lived out in Denver for a little while back in 1991-92… It didn’t seem too bad back then. I do remember there was some used car salesman running around spouting off about “dem fags”, but that was about it. Actually, maybe that was James Dobson hehe, just starting out
I was young and dumb soooo clueless.
Anyway, I live in probably the most churcy city in the upper midwest (Grand Rapids, Michigan.. check it out to find out what I mean)… was born and raised here. So I feel the pain of anyone that lives in the Bible belt.
June 16th, 2006 at at 1:47 pm
sorry to be inquisitive, but i’ve enjoyed your site for quite a while. is that 35-40 minutes north or south of denver? (nobody lives east or west) i am in colorado springs (with the true nut cases). i’d look you up if it would not be an imposition. or we could me in front of dr dobson’s place and focus on his family.
June 16th, 2006 at at 2:30 pm
sorry to be inquisitive, but i’ve enjoyed your site for quite a while. is that 35-40 minutes north or south of denver? (nobody lives east or west) i am in colorado springs (with the true nut cases). i’d look you up if it would not be an imposition. or we could me in front of dr dobson’s place and focus on his family.
You’re wrong about one thing. I live west of Denver (well, southwest I guess).
I’ve been considering attending some local atheist events. If I do, I’ll announce it on the site. Perhaps you could attend. If any locals want to invite me to something, send me an email at iam@evangelicalatheist.com.