God is a Dick - Part XXVII: Christ’s Focus on the Family

I’m sure you’re all familiar with Focus on the Family, an organization that has long been in my “Know Your Enemy” link section. If there is one thing Jim Dobson and Jesus have in common, it is that they both focus on the family. However, their conclusions are somewhat different. This week, I will point out some passages from the gospels that illustrate Christ’s positions on the importance and role of family. I’d like to start with a section from Focus on the Family’s Guiding Principles by way of counterpoint.

We believe that the ultimate purpose in living is to know and glorify God and to attain eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord, beginning within our own families and then reaching out to a suffering humanity that does not know of His love and sacrifice.

We believe that the institution of marriage was intended by God to be a permanent, lifelong relationship between a man and a woman, regardless of trials, sickness, financial reverses or emotional stresses that may ensue.

We believe that children are a heritage from God and a blessing from His hand. We are therefore accountable to Him for raising, shaping and preparing them for a life of service to His Kingdom and to humanity.

So, would Jesus agree with these ideas? Let’s find out. Dobson thinks the glorification of god should be based on and within one’s family. Jesus, on the other hand, made it quite clear that family is not only unimportant in religion, but a hindrance on the path to heaven.

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. (LUK 14:25-26 NIV)

Well, it looks like Dobson’s whole group is out in the cold. Hatred of one’s family is a prerequisite for following Jesus. Before sending his apostles out to preach the “good news,” Jesus tells them…

“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (MAT 10:21-22 NIV)

By this point, however, some of the apostles have already gotten the message that family is to be destroyed because Jesus has called them to abandon theirs and follow him. Actually, this isn’t limited to apostles. Anyone who wants to follow Jesus has to walk away from his family without giving it a second thought.

He said to another man, “Follow me.”
But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good bye to my family.”
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (LUK 9:59-62 NIV)

Wanting to say goodbye to your family before abandoning them for Jesus makes you unfit to serve god. I think the 98% (pure speculation) of Christians who haven’t read their holy book would be somewhat surprised to learn that.

So is this anti-family attitude simply a necessary evil to do the work of god? Is it a mere side effect? No. Jesus tells us that it was his purpose in coming to earth in the first place.

Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” (LUK 12:51-53 NIV)

Whatever else you say about Jesus, the guy certainly has a knack for prophecy. Christianity has done exactly that in countless families for the better part of two millennia. Another thing you can say about Jesus is that he practices what he preaches. We get a glimpse of how he treats his own family in the book of Matthew.

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone
told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my
mother and my brothers. (MAT 12:46-49 NIV)

The sacrifice of family is demanded, but it is not without its benefits. Jesus tells his apostles that they will be well rewarded for cutting their familial ties. They will be granted eternal power.

Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” (MAT 19:28-29 NIV)

So that’s what Jesus offers. Sounds like a deal you might make with the other side, doesn’t it?

The last part of the Focus on the Family quote above seems OK. Throughout the gospels, Jesus talks about how he loves little children, and how we should try to emulate them. Well, that’s unless they break the rules. Then Jesus thinks they should be killed. In talking with some Pharisees, he said the following…

Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,’ he is not to ‘honor his father’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
” ‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men.’” (MAT 15:3-9 NIV)

Let’s review. God so loved the world that he sent his only son to be tortured and killed. That kind of sets the tone for family values. To follow Jesus, you must hate your family and leave them without saying goodbye. Jesus came to earth to break families apart, and sow division. To demonstrate, he ignored his own mother and brothers. Children are wonderful… except when they should be executed. Dick.

30 Responses to “God is a Dick - Part XXVII: Christ’s Focus on the Family”

  1. Mookie Says:

    Thanks again I AM for another great edition of the Dick series.

    It is shocking to see such blatant hatred in the Bible. People don’t notice these things? No one bothers to actually read the damn book. If they did, and actually tried to think it about it, they would either have to become a horrible monster of a person, or reject their faith altogether. I hear of people who have Bible study sessions and would just love to bring some of these passages before them and ask them what they think of them. What’s really sick is I bet they would squirm out of a reasonable response with “faith” and “yer jus misinterpittin”, instead of actually admitting that the whole thing is rotten and ridiculous.

  2. DUB Says:

    This is one of my personal favorite approaches when pointing out what the Bible actually says to xians.

    In the early days of the church, many prominent xian chruch fathers practiced these words quite literally, and cut off ties to their families. This is just yet another one of the Bible’s “lessons” that has fallen to the side in light of true moral development over time.

  3. Rockingham Says:

    Well maybe Xtianity has evolved been intelligently redesigned since the days of christ, meaning that now having a family is okay. Besides, who else is there to buy you yuletime christmas presents?

  4. franky Says:

    Wow….do xtians even read the bible anymore?

  5. Rufus Says:

    Jesus was telling his followers to hate their families? If I didn’t know better, I’d say it almost seems like he was recruiting people into some kind of cult.

  6. LBBP Says:

    Wow….do xtians even read the bible anymore?

    Actually no, just like little kids they have it read to them. Of course, those doing the reading only read the parts they want they’re congregation to hear. Like the parts about give all your money to the church. Even the bible study groups only read the assigned passages.

    It truly wouldn’t matter if they did read it anyway. They are still only going to hear what they want to hear, and not what it really says.

  7. Anne Johnson Says:

    I’ve read a bit of that book, and it does seem like Jesus was rude to his mama on more than one occasion. And who was standing at his side when he got his? The Mother of God.

    Perhaps the whole mess would make more sense if we had a Gospel According to Mary. Pick your Mary. Any Mary you want is fine with me.

  8. Breakerslion Says:

    I think the Mary at the crucifiction was Mary M., the club prostitute. That just isn’t as good theatre as having his mom there. [In the voice of Groucho Marx] How she got from Nazareth to Jeruselem in my pajamas, I’ll never know!

    Whether or not the alleged Jesus was a cultist, I think you could make a good case that Matthew was.

  9. Breakerslion Says:

    Wow….do xtians even read the bible anymore?

    [Channeling Groucho again] “Well they soitenly couldn’t read it any less!”

  10. soothsayer Says:

    Jesus also said “He who has ears, let him hear”.

    Only the Holy Spirit can give understaniding to scripture, Obviously you weren’t listening.

  11. Joe Says:

    Jesus also said “He who has ears, let him hear”.

    Only the Holy Spirit can give understaniding to scripture, Obviously you weren’t listening.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………….TOOOOOO FUNNY. How can anyone argue such a well thought out point as that

  12. Hier und Jetzt Says:

    Die Bibel beim Wort genommen

    Das Blog von ~I AM~, den ich schon im Sidebar habe, enthält eine sehr interessante Serie über Episoden aus der Bibel. Eine wörtliche Auslegung der Bibel führt zu einigen Schwierigkeiten, denn viele Handlungsweisen, vor allem auch Gottes, sind nicht…

  13. Delta Says:

    Christians buy bibles, but only atheists read them.

  14. Uberkuh Says:

    Christians buy bibles, but only atheists read them.

    Google confirms that you either came up with this fine quote or stole it from an ancient source that Google has not recorded. Given that Google has recorded most of the known universe, it is highly probable that you came up with this fine quote. Nice one!

  15. Eddie Ebeling Says:

    Wow isn’t Satan proud of you!

    Take a moment to be aware of Satan’s work;

    He entices men to commit evil (1 Thessalonians. 3:5)
    He motivates professing believers to betray Christ (John 13:2)
    He inspires believers to lie to God in the church (Acts 5:1-11)
    He enters into people and causes them to do his will (John 13:21-27) I think this is yours!
    He has the power to steal the Word of God from the hearts of those who hear the Word of God, but do not understand it (Matthew 13:19) This one too!
    He blinds the minds of unbelievers to keep them from being saved (2 Corinthians. 4:4)

    I understand your disdain for religion but keep in mind that Christ came to free us from “religion”. But why should we listen to Him when we have people like you to follow? You are not immune to the power of God. Remember that He changed the heart of the most undeserving anti-Christian of biblical times, Paul the apostle. And He used Him to write 2/3 of the New Testament which you are quoting 2000 years later. Keep up the great work!

  16. Uberkuh Says:

    Eddie, in the name of a Reasonable Life, I command you to wake up.

  17. Eddie Ebeling Says:

    “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Mathew 16:23

  18. Uberkuh Says:

    “Thus saith the Lord; Behold, I frame evil against you, and devise a device against you.” Jeremiah 18:11

  19. I Am Says:

    Wow isn’t Satan proud of you!

    I understand your disdain for religion but keep in mind that Christ came to free us from “religion”. But why should we listen to Him when we have people like you to follow? You are not immune to the power of God. Remember that He changed the heart of the most undeserving anti-Christian of biblical times, Paul the apostle.

    Eddie, you raving lunatic. Thanks for stopping by. I have a few points to make in response. First, Satan isn’t proud of me because he doesn’t exist any more than your god does. Second, if Christ came to free us from religion, he did a piss poor job of it because Christianity has spread like a virus. Third, I am indeed immune to the power of God. If you doubt that, pass on a message for me. Tell god I said “Bring it on, bitch,” and we’ll see all the nothing that happens to me as a result. Finally, I… wait a second… what’s happening to me? Oh, I think my heart has been changed just like Paul’s. Praise Jesus.

    I’m not generally this harsh with the believers who visit, but your comment really annoyed me, and I was cranky to begin with.

  20. Eddie Ebeling Says:

    What is the verse right before that one? Oh let me share v10 says:

    “if it does evil in My sight so that it does not obey My voice, then I will relent concerning the good with which I said I would benefit it.”

    Clearly, you have not understood the bible. That verse is a WARNING. The “Old” Testament was that of Jewish law and judgment of the wicked. The “New” Testament is of grace, salvation and redemption for the lost. Read your bible in context, please.

    I understand that your position on theism is self-justifying and self-gratifying. You are motivated by you own ambition to live a life free from moral standard. God has given you the opportunity, to enjoy this life in anyway you see fit. That is the beauty of Gods plan, you must choose and it seems that you have chosen. Do not worry; He will always forgive you if you submit.

  21. Breakerslion Says:

    Brainwashing 101, Cult commandment 37. “Grovel and obey our great invisible, untouchable alpha male in the sky or one of his nastier creations will come and kick your ass. Can’t have
    god without Satan, you IDIOT. Just two faces of the same boogyman. Grow the F- UP! Be a man, not some half-child creation of the clergy.

    Polly want a cracker?

  22. Breakerslion Says:

    And another thing…

    “You are motivated by you own ambition to live a life free from moral standard.”

    Do you read palms too? You don’t know any of us. If you did, you would know that we probably hold ourselves to a higher moral standard than any of those assholes in the Bible, or many “good Christians” for that matter, and the statistics support that statement. You certainly can’t convince me otherwise; Freddie List was in my 7th grade American History class. That is to say, he was for the first couple of months.

  23. Eddie Ebeling Says:
    I’m not generally this harsh with the believers who visit, but your comment really annoyed me, and I was cranky to begin with.

    You know when I first stumbled upon your site I thought to my self what an idiot. But after your response I believe I am beginning to like you. You have a sense of humor and I can appreciate that.

    You know, I am not a bible scholar or “religious” person by any sense of the word. And neither were the 12 apostles and people who wrote the New Testament. However, I do believe in God and I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Truthfully, I was totally naive to the fact that there is community of atheists, such as yourselves, doing everything they can to discredit the bible. Now I know.

    I would just like to point out one thing and I am sure you have heard this before, but I have to say it. If you are right and I am wrong, what have I lost? A life of bondage, well that is ok with me because I am happy to serve others. If I am right and you are wrong, what have you lost? You will loose your soul to the evil one (whether you believe in Him or not), and that is not ok with me. And it shouldn’t be ok with you.

    I have enjoyed my exchange with you and your visitors. Have a great day!

  24. Eddie Ebeling Says:

    Brainwashing 101, Cult commandment 37. “Grovel and obey our great invisible, untouchable alpha male in the sky or one of his nastier creations will come and kick your ass. Can’t have
    god without Satan, you IDIOT. Just two faces of the same boogyman. Grow the F- UP! Be a man, not some half-child creation of the clergy.

    Polly want a cracker?

    Oh I see because you blanked out the “F” word you have a high moral standard. Great Job!

  25. Uberkuh Says:

    What is the verse right before that one? Oh let me share v10 says:

    “if it does evil in My sight so that it does not obey My voice, then I will relent concerning the good with which I said I would benefit it.”

    Clearly, you have not understood the bible. That verse is a WARNING. The “Old” Testament was that of Jewish law and judgment of the wicked. The “New” Testament is of grace, salvation and redemption for the lost. Read your bible in context, please.

    Darn, I chose an Old Testament verse. Silly me. See, I was under the impression, from the claims of every Christian I have ever met, that all of the Bible was accepted as true by Christians and that the god of the Old Testament is the same as the god of the New Testament. But, I do clearly see now that, based entirely on what you infallibly wrote, the Old Testament is not the word of your god, and its god (who, again, is not your god) was capable of evil. You admit that. But, your god, the New Testament god, is incapable of evil.

    So, I guess sending an innocent person to die for the sins of everyone else isn’t a bad thing in your opinion. That makes sense, in the sense that you must be one of the dumbest people I have ever met because only an idiot would not see the gaping hole in your arrogant (a sin, btw) assertion.

    On second thought, Eddie, don’t wake up. Kill yourself. Do us and yourself a favor and take the redeye to New Testament Heaven.

  26. Eddie Ebeling Says:
    So, I guess sending an innocent person to die for the sins of everyone else isn’t a bad thing in your opinion. That makes sense, in the sense that you must be one of the dumbest people I have ever met because only an idiot would not see the gaping hole in your arrogant (a sin, btw) assertion.

    On second thought, Eddie, don’t wake up. Kill yourself. Do us and yourself a favor and take the redeye to New Testament Heaven.

    I notice you used the phrase “send and innocent person to die”. Again the bible says God became man (so that innocent person was actually God incarnate), you read that part right? And FYI the sacrifical shedding of blood was rituals that humans performed. And because it was something that the Jews and Gentiles would comprehend, He chose to come off His throne into this sin-ruled world to offer Himself as a perfect-sacrifice. And believe it or not He did it for you knowing that you would reject him.

    That proves to me that He is a wonderful and loving God. The same God in the entire bible. The same one that created you in your mothers womb! He loves you! I am sorry that is hard for you to accept. You still have time!

  27. I Am Says:

    The same God in the entire bible. The same one that created you in your mothers womb! He loves you!

    My dad is god? Wow. I’d have thought an omniscient guy would be a better speller.

  28. Uberkuh Says:

    No, I AM. He means that my dad is god. As far as I know, your dad didn’t make me. And neither did my mom, according to this crackhead; she just “had” me.

    Eddie, we forgive you for your ignorance. You cannot help being infected with such a vicious memeset as Christianity. Hopefully, one day your brain will reject this insanely obvious stupidity of those who believe the creator of the entire universe wrote a collection of books for, and gives a damn about, one of a zillion civilizations.

    Until then, Eddie, I will pay for you. That’s right. I will pay for your stupidity. I will pay to live in a world where you exist. I will pay to suffer because of your sickness and all the cruel and senseless things you do in the name of a god you cannot begin to comprehend (and, so, choose to selectively define by the minute) and the religion that you cannot begin to follow (and, so, choose to selectively follow according to whim). I will pay for you, and, for that payment, I expect gratitude, not condemnation.

  29. I Am Says:

    No, I AM. He means that my dad is god.

    Are you saying that your religion is better than mine? I challenge you to a spelling bee. Your dad vs. my dad.

    By the way, that whole “I will pay for you” bit was really, really good.

  30. Uberkuh Says:

    Hehe.

    Really? Thank you. I was particularly proud of that. Spontaneous, to boot!