Comments on: God is a Dick - Part XXV: David’s Good Qualities

By: DUB

DUB — Fri, 30 Dec 2005 08:46:24 +0000

David was on some shit. Seriously. Damn, what an ass. I guess god was right - Dave was a man after his own heart.

One thing I’ve noticed from reading the bible is the sheer force of their armies. Good googly moogly they had some numbers back then!

By: Breakerslion

Breakerslion — Mon, 26 Dec 2005 18:42:41 +0000

And what was that about the poor guy who slept with a sheep in his arms “as if it was a daughter?” Sounds like a case for the Vice Squad.

As for Dave’s obsession with killing those that whack his enemies, to paraphrase Shakespeare, “Methinks he doth protest too much.” If Dave engineered those murders, and if it was discovered, he would look like the mob boss that he was. “Dead men tell no tales.”

Then we come to the spoiled brat being serviced by his dad’s concubines. Once spotted, this would appear to leave only two choices: punish the kid (death was awful popular), or look like a cuckolded fool. Luckily, there is always a third choice for the powerful fraud in the god business: “It was foretold!” God’s will, all bets are off, all aces trumped. I wonder what they said instead of “teflon” back then.

By: Tanooki Joe

Tanooki Joe — Mon, 26 Dec 2005 01:55:52 +0000

God really needs to get off the sauce.

By: ts

ts — Mon, 26 Dec 2005 00:49:29 +0000

WoW a special friend that was better than women!

By: Reluctant Atheist

Reluctant Atheist — Sun, 25 Dec 2005 19:43:23 +0000

Wonderful analysis. Loved that post, I AM.
1 item I’d like to point out (being so anal about details is a side-effect of having been in IT) is that (from http://www.jesusneverexisted.com/apostles.html);

1 Samuel (31:4) says that Saul “Took a sword, and fell upon it”.
2 Samuel (1:2-10) says Saul, at his own request, was slain by an Amalekite.
Later in 2 Samuel (21:12) we read that the Philistines on Gilboa killed Saul.
(there’s a 4th quote omitted from this, as it turns out, does indeed jibe w/the ‘accounting’ given)

Strong oral tradition my ass. A happy 1 (whatever you choose to term it) to you & yours.