Christmas Watch 2005: Go Tell it on the Hill
The War for Christmas is now being waged in the hallowed halls of our federal government. Last week, Congresswoman Jo Ann Davis (R-VA) introduced H. Res. 579, which was apparently designed to demonstrate that Congress likes Christmas. Since no one likes Congress these days, this is probably good for their public relations efforts. Here it is in its entirety…
H. Res. 579
In the House of Representatives, U.S.,
December 15, 2005.
Whereas Christmas is a national holiday celebrated on December 25; and
Whereas the Framers intended that the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States would prohibit the establishment of religion, not prohibit any mention of religion or reference to God in civic dialog: Now, therefore, be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives–
(1) recognizes the importance of the symbols and traditions of Christmas;
(2) strongly disapproves of attempts to ban references to Christmas; and
(3) expresses support for the use of these symbols and traditions, for those who celebrate Christmas.
I’m absolutely incensed about this. I’m pissed off as an American, because this resolution references the very Constitutional passage it flouts, as though that makes it OK. I’m pissed off as a non-Christian, because this “defends” Christmas but leaves other holidays to fend for themselves. I’m pissed off as an atheist, because the government of this nation, based on a Constitution that doesn’t reference the divine even once, has no place officially supporting religion. I’m pissed off as a taxpayer, because seriously, DON’T YOU ALL HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?!?! Lower my taxes, dammit. Fund stem cell research. Lower crime. ANYTHING! We’re paying these people’s salaries. They spent time during a session debating this crap. Even aside from the religious problems, if the House voted on a resolution that said they like cheese, I’d still be damn annoyed about them wasting our time and money. The legislature is there to legislate, not to run polls and express their collective opinion just for the hell of it. If Congress is going to start running polls, I think we should get Gallup pass laws. They certainly couldn’t be any worse at it than these people.
Davis, by the way, is a repeat offender wasting time and using the goverment to support her religion. In November, she introduced another pointless resolution showing support for the motto “In God We Trust.” These kinds of achievements lead me to wonder whether the good people of Virginia’s first district pull a name out of a hat on election day.
During the debate on the resolution, Rep. Gary Ackerman (D-NY), who is Jewish, was prompted to say, “I am offended by this. You have drawn me out. Why not protect my symbols? My symbols are not protected here.” In the spirit of giving, Davis revised the resolution by tacking on the “for those who celebrate Christmas” at the end, thereby making it more acceptable to other religions groups and disguising its true intent, which is the establishment of the permanent supremacy of Christmas over those other, minor, “happy holidays” celebrated by the heathens non-Christians.
Congressman John Dingell (D-MI) is a man after my own heart. Last week, I met Bill O’Reilly’s silly exercise with a silly exercise of my own, rewriting ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas to counter his “point.” Dingell also saw the need to fight stupid with stupid, choosing the same weapon. While I believe my version was better, it’s the thought that counts. Besides, I only got to read mine on BZT. He read his on C-SPAN.
OK, now are you ready for the punchline to this legislative joke? Here it is: 401-22.
~I AM~
December 19th, 2005 at at 1:39 am
401-22 as in what? 401 yays? PLEASE TELL ME 401 nays!!
WTF is up with #2? Who, exactly, is trying to “BAN” references to Christmas?!
I cannot believe what this country is turning into. I am absolutely bewildered and disgusted.
December 19th, 2005 at at 1:44 am
401-22 as in what? 401 yays? PLEASE TELL ME 401 nays!!
WTF is up with #2? Who, exactly, is trying to “BAN” references to Christmas?!
I cannot believe what this country is turning into. I am absolutely bewildered and disgusted.
401 for, 22 against. I know what you mean about this country. I have some thoughts on that coming up in the next couple of days.
December 19th, 2005 at at 1:55 am
Sigh. I wonder if retailers had something to do with this. Attacks against xmas may be considered attacks against the shopping frenzy. That would hurt some wallets. Like any good industry lobby would do, they banded together and pulled some strings, garnering official sponsorship of xmas, thereby preserving their profits.
December 19th, 2005 at at 2:25 am
Interestingly, on this wench Davis’ website it proudly proclaims (right above her little yellow ribbon):
“Jo Ann Davis supports NASA Langley Aeronautics Research”
Now, obviously, the military is sure to benefit from such research, and like any good white conservative xian Republican, it’s a requisite for her to support anything that supports the military.
But I immediately thought something else: Why on Earth would a fundy xian support ANY scientific research? Especially NASA related, as it demonstrates our (human’s) obvious insignifigance in the universe.
Langley IS in VA, correct? Which is her district? Yeah, I’m sure it’s rather important to her constituents economic well-being, which is in turn good for HER economic well-being.
What I’m getting at is that money is still the bottomline with these people, and for some reason right now in Amerikkka, xianity ties in quite well with the pocket book, and the fundy brand is increasingly popular amongst those with the largest pocketbooks (yet another way to control the proletariat). Which goes COMPLETELY against “Jesus’s” preaching.
December 19th, 2005 at at 2:31 am
This just pisses me off more than I can adequately type here on this blog.
One thing I notice about this resolution is that it uses very general terms and phrasing, such as “the symbols and traditions of Christmas”. So what exacty are these symbols and traditions of Christmas they are supporting? Are they supporting the cutting down and decorating of trees? Are they supporting the giving of presents? Are they supporting the idea of a jolly fat man in a red suit? Is there a war on these specific traditions of Christmas? Of course not.
Obviously, this resolution was written with the intent of supporting the religious traditions of Christians. So why doesn’t the resolution directly reference the birth of Jesus? Are they ashamed of their savior? Do they not have the courage to stand up for their beliefs? What a bunch of pussies.
So they have to disguise their religious intentions with watered down language because they know that actually being honest about what they are trying to accomplish with this resolution would be unconstitutional. If I were God I’d be pissed that these people are such cowards.
December 19th, 2005 at at 6:44 am
We’re all going to Hell.
December 19th, 2005 at at 8:52 am
I support what you are saying but would like to point out you are pointing to the messenger. These are politicians after all, committed to pandering to their constituents. Their constituents mainly LIKE this crap. Folk I work with think this was a good thing and it was a water cooler thing spoken of in the same way as when the local team wins.
I am proud of so many thing this country has done, but giving succor to the Puritans, and several other ‘religiously persecuted’ groups over the years has come back to bite us. They were persecuted hundreds of years ago because they made a social nuisance of themselves even by the standards of that time.
December 19th, 2005 at at 10:52 am
I’d be less pissed about this if any of what she said was true. This country does NOT have most of the traditions she cites, the modern practice of Christmas being as manufactured-by-the-industry as the diamond engagement ring concept. Yet people fall for it, wholesale. Or rather, retail.
This revisionist history is especially frightening, because, as has been pointed out already, it links the advancement of fundy-style Christianity with fatter pockets for those who actually run things. The problem is that tends to chew up those not in the mainstream with pressures to conform, until they do– something ELSE that’s useful to the fatcats.
Odd as it sounds, I suggest fuckchristmas.org for a nice review of why this is the highest level of insanity– not to mention, didn’t any of the 22 nays bother to shriek the truth at their fellow congresspersons? Did they not care enough? Did no one listen? I don’t understand America anymore.
December 19th, 2005 at at 12:23 pm
I am equally as outraged… I don’t even know what to say or how to express my anger. I’m shocked at the 22 nays. That’s it?? I mean, I’m honestly not surprised at this, especially coming from Davis, but only 22 nays?? WTH?
Speaking of Davis, have you checked out the list of bills she has sponsored?? Ugh…
December 19th, 2005 at at 12:34 pm
Wow I thought it passed, but I didn’t know it was so much. Fucking bastard democrats.
December 19th, 2005 at at 3:24 pm
A buddy of mine wrote a little satirical piece (with homage to hunter s. thompson) about the whole war on xmas if ya’ll are interested in checking it out:
http://brentrasmussen.com/log/node/416
December 20th, 2005 at at 8:32 pm
Congressional representatives wasting taxpayer money voting on jingoistic resolutions of questionable constitutionality? I, for one, am shocked!
Bah. Idiots.
December 20th, 2005 at at 8:44 pm
the religious have hijacked all the good holidays… xmas wasn’t about the birth of santa clause, or even jesus.. it was a MITHRA thing… Easter, of course, was oestrus… hello, can you say “ovulation”?…. christians have hijacked all the good pagan holidays. I keep them, however, in a pagan way…i drink and screw.
December 20th, 2005 at at 11:55 pm
I’m absolutely incensed about this. I’m pissed off as an American, because this resolution references the very Constitutional passage it flouts, as though that makes it OK. I’m pissed off as a non-Christian, because this “defends” Christmas but leaves other holidays to fend for themselves. I’m pissed off as an atheist, because the government of this nation, based on a Constitution that doesn’t reference the divine even once, has no place officially supporting religion. I’m pissed off as a taxpayer, because seriously, DON’T YOU ALL HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?!?!
If I weren’t already *very* happily married, and you also weren’t apparently happily married, I think I’d propose to you.