Manger Top Ten
The top ten things overheard in the stable that wondrous December (or September) night in the year 1 (or 4)…
10. “It’s the baby’s first Christmas, and this place doesn’t even have a chimney.”
9. “Hey, I’m sorry you’re in pain, but don’t take it out on me. I wasn’t even involved, remember?”
8. “Wow, is that star straight above us?” “No, it’s an illusion. It looks that way from everywhere.”
7. “Sure it’s a stable, but the beasts are awfully friendly.”
6. “Who’s that boy?” “You mean the one that keeps saying ‘pa rum pum pum pum’?”
5. “Oh, we’re SO coming back to let him smite that innkeeper when he grows up.”
4. “What really strikes me is how silent it is. Everything is so… I don’t know… calm and bright.”
3. “But if we call him Jesus, everyone will think he’s hispanic.”
2. “Did you see the stuff the magi brought? What the hell is an infant supposed to do with myrrh?”
1. “If you call me ‘Round Yon Virgin’ one more time, I’m taking the donkey and you’re walking home.”
~I AM~
P.S. I’ll get back to something more serious soon. I’m having way too much fun these days.
P.P.S. If those damn incessant Macy’s commercials have “The Man With the Bag” stuck in your head, as it is in mine, go check out Addie’s post about it.
December 15th, 2005 at at 10:49 pm
I can hear her now: Oh mi dios, es Jesus!
December 16th, 2005 at at 1:15 am
This is some funny ish.
December 16th, 2005 at at 9:18 am
5. “Oh, we’re SO coming back to let him smite that innkeeper when he grows up.”
Letterman’s got nothing on this list. Number five is an instant classic.
December 16th, 2005 at at 1:47 pm
“But if we call him Jesus, everyone will think he’s hispanic.”
Haha!
December 16th, 2005 at at 2:11 pm
You know, many times I’ve asked Christians trying to “explain” the Christmas story to me, how EXACTLY a star could “point to a manger.” Or even a single city. I told them a simple ray-diagram sketch of the physics involved would suffice. You know, the nearest star being 4 light years away, and all.
Never quite gotten an answer, on that one… though one guy did try to up the ante by saying it was a comet instead of a star. I said, “Great! That should make drawing easier.”
Nothin.
December 16th, 2005 at at 2:33 pm
Haha, I like #3 and #9. I think it’s funny that a god which is supposed to care about families so much decided to have a child with a woman who was already married. Couldn’t have he picked a single woman? God is such a bastard homewrecker!
December 16th, 2005 at at 5:25 pm
Hey, when you’re God, marital vows must seem rather insgnifigant.
December 16th, 2005 at at 5:26 pm
Beautiful, way to go.
December 17th, 2005 at at 1:34 am
“If you call me ‘Round Yon Virgin’ one more time, I’m taking the donkey and you’re walking home.”
OMG, I just choked on my Snapple.
December 17th, 2005 at at 9:25 am
Very nice list and funny. Humor is good.
December 18th, 2005 at at 10:53 pm
I love it.. I’m so over Christmas this year. We celebrate christmas as a time to be with the family but its so freaking hard on the pocket book!