Christmas Watch 2005: The War on Christmas

All over the web you will find articles by Christians talking about the “War on Christmas” and articles by non-Christians denying that there is such a thing. Well, I’m here to tell you the truth. You’re damn right there’s a War on Christmas, and we’re suddenly losing.

For a couple of decades, we were gaining ground slowly and quietly. Schools had “holiday concerts” before closing for “winter break.” More and more company Christmas cards replaced Christmas trees with snowflakes. Nativity scenes disappeared from courthouse lawns. “Season’s Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” became the norm. However, in the last several years, there has been a fundamental change (pun intended) in the United States. Christianity is resurgent, and the baby Jesus crowd suddenly noticed that they didn’t see him anywhere (except their private homes). They’re pissed.

To clarify, the war is not against Christmas per se. It’s against the public (particularly governmental) celebration of a religious holiday. If the vast majority of Americans want to celebrate a fairy tale about virgin birth and a divine supernova, fine. However, are there not enough churches in this country? Are there not enough Christian organizations? Why does this celebration need to take place in the malls, offices and town squares shared by millions of people who don’t recognize the Christian god or any god at all? Buy your tree. Stuff your stockings. However, if you say Merry Christmas to me because you can’t even imagine that I might not be one of you, I will be offended. If you bring Christ into your store, I recognize your right to do so as a private enterprise, but I will shop elsewhere. If you put a bunch of shepherds and wise men in front of the town hall, I will be on the phone to the ACLU. Forcing your faith on those who don’t believe is just plain rude, and some of us won’t put up with it.

So this is war. We’re outnumbered by (optimistically) four to one if you go with the lowest estimates of the number of Christians in America and count all the non-Christians on our side. Realistically, it’s probably more like twenty to one. History is full of stories of small forces defeating large armies, but this is only possible with superior strategy and mastery of the terrain. Since we’re rapidly losing ground in the primary field of battle (The Supreme Court), we’d better have a damn good strategy.

Let’s meet the players. The Christmas Crusaders are led by three generals. George “W is for WMD” Bush leads the political brigade, Bill “$1.99 per Minute” O’Reilly is the head of the media brigade and Pat “These Loafers are Delicious” Robertson is in charge of the religious brigade. The Godless Guerrillas are led by… well no one, really. Michael Newdow? Not so much. OK, so it’s a grass-roots movement. Decentralization can be good for an insurgency. Just look at Iraq. However, don’t try to depict this as the struggle between oppressed Christians and a powerful, organized, liberal machine. It’s quite the opposite. Christianity is the Goliath in this fight. This blog is my slingshot.

I started out writing a post about the War on Christmas. As I researched, I had more and more to say, and I became so angry about it that I had to walk away from this last night. I mulled it over in the mean time and realized that I have at least five or six posts worth of commentary on this, so Christmas Watch 2005 will continue over the next three weeks. Stay tuned.

~I AM~

35 Responses to “Christmas Watch 2005: The War on Christmas”

  1. Aaron Kinney Says:

    I would like to tak this opportunity to declare a Jihad on Christmas.

    Happy Winter Solstice everyone! :)

  2. LBBP Says:
    “Christianity is Goliath, this blog is my slingshot!”

    I think that should be your tag line.

  3. franky Says:

    In my town there is a nativity scene in front of a public park. I was going to raise hell but then there are also British toy soldiers holding an American flag, so instead I laugh at their stupidity. Seasons Greetings everybody!

  4. Matt Says:

    And yet no one seems to remind Xians that Hanukka, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, New Years, and Thanksgiving have been sort of bundled up into one thing. Perhaps it’s just that retailers, instead of sticking their heads in the sand, have been trying to address all of those holidays? Xians only make up about 75-80% of the general population. No business wants to alienate 20-25% of it’s potential customers.

    What’s really pissing me off is that O’Reilly and Co. are blabbering about the ACLU suing department stores to remove “Merry Christmas”. I’ve never heard of a business or individual being sued for ANY religious express like that. For one thing, it’s expressly their right to blabber about baby Jeebus if they want to, according to the First Amendment. Any business that has moved to “happy holidays” from “merry christmas” has done so solely for the purpose of being inclusive to their potential customers.

  5. Tanooki Joe Says:

    I wouldn’t care so much if we were really at war with Christmas, but come on. Most of us evil atheists have far more sinister things afoot. :twisted: It’s so annoying to watch the Two Minute Hate: Extended Jesusday Edition. If this keeps going, I swear to their imaginary God I will travel back in time and smother the baby Jesus in his crèche. I just can’t take it any longer.

  6. Teddo Says:

    I applaud your post and your blog. Christians love to portray themselves as the underdog, but the reality is just as you point out. They are a mostrous Goliath, drunk with power and raging out of control. I, for one, am an active participant in the war on Christmas. Am I going to go crying to the courts if the town hall puts up a nativity scene? Hell yes I am! And when anyone claims there’ a War on Christmas being waged by those evil atheists, don’t deny it. Proudly say, “You’re damn right there’s a war, and it won’t be over until you keep your religion out of the public square.”

  7. harv Says:

    Christmas! Bah, Humbug!

  8. Don Surber Says:

    Reagan’s 1986 Card

    Reagan’s 1986 Card
    The President and Mrs. Reagan extend to you their warmest wishes for a joyous holiday season and a happy new year.
    That’s it. That is all the Reagan card said.
    Now what’s this nonsense about the Bush card not being good enough…

  9. John Beeler Says:

    Merry Life Day!

  10. Martha Says:

    I found this funny. I don’t think people understand how insane they sound when they say things like “[Those in the Bush Administration] have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture” for wishing them a “Happy Holidays”. Now, I could understand it if they had other reasons for implying that Bush ‘n friends were in league with evil, but for seasonal well-wishing? Apparently, you can steal, lie and kill, but what ever you do, DON’T forget to mention Jesus or you’re giving in to the bad guys.

    In our promised land, Canada, we will forbid all season related holidays. We’ll burn/melt Bonhomme in effigy of winter celebrations and spend the rest of winter drinking cold Elsinores and watching hockey.

  11. addict_no_more Says:
    Tanooki Joe on December 7, 2005 at 4:11 pm said:
    If this keeps going, I swear to their imaginary God I will travel back in time and smother the baby Jesus in his crèche. I just can’t take it any longer.

    Wow, I almost peed in my pants that was so funny.
    :oops: :lol:

    Good post, I AM. I tend to not let the expression “Merry Christmas” in and of itself bug me - but I don’t have any patience with nativity scenes on public grounds.

  12. Aeger Says:

    And lo, there was a slight pause, and then lo, I said, “whoa, that was a good post,” and then there was a slight pause again intermingled with Beautiful Day by U2, and then the comment ended.

    RAmen

  13. David N. Scott Says:

    You must have a lot of spare time and/or energy to so carefully construct your life around being offended.

  14. multidimid Says:

    Christmas was stolen from the pagans who celebrated the return of the sun, the longer days; it has nothing to do with Jesus’ birth.

  15. Rockingham Says:

    “More and more company Christmas cards replaced Christmas trees with snowflakes.”

    Since when have Christmas trees been Xtian? I will have one for my pagan midwinter rites.

  16. Alpha Male Says:

    The Christians stole Christmas from the pagas. The only reason “it’s the reason for the season” is that they killed most of the opposition off.

    Bastards. :evil:

    By the way, I love the new commenting stuff. 8O 8) :P :lol: :mrgreen:

  17. JAB Says:

    David N. Scott: “You must have a lot of spare time and/or energy to so carefully construct your life around being offended.”

    And you must have a lot of spare time and/or energy to have such a deathly boring weblog.

  18. cubic rooms Says:

    You must have a lot of spare time and/or energy to so carefully construct your life around being offended.

    I AM could have more free time if xtian lunatics were not so busy pushing their agenda into the public realm.

  19. Constantine (a.k.a Mithra Saves) Says:

    Greetings and Salutations!

    “HAPPY FESTIVUS! IT’S A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!”

    I must say, that I really couldn’t give a cup of lumpy egg-nog about the “War on Christmas”. I’ve heard/read the arguments on both sides. I would tend to be on the atheistic side here, but I could care less that a person has the nativity scene in front of their store or town hall. I could care less that the atheist only greets with, “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings”. We went out last weekend and bought our CHRISTMAS tree and that’s what I’ll call it. I was raised in a christian home… a devout one. My parents always tried to Jesus-up christmas, but it has never been nor ever be a “religious” holiday for me. As a former street-preachin’ minister from downtown Dallas, I tried for years to make christmas christ centered. We all know the history of “Christ’s Mass” so I won’t bore us to tears with it.

    The sad irony of this for me is how upset christians are about this holiday that isn’t biblical in the least. I actually believe atheist and christians are to blame for this. Christians and their “save the world” mentality have created most of the anti-christians groups and movements of today. Now we have blogs for “Evangelical Atheist” who are trying to de-vangelize the christians.

    I like this blog, but in a way I AM is the minister of his own congregation and we all are his followers bowing down to his “sermons”.

    I don’t know. I am a father of four. (”My Boys Can Swim!”) I love christmas. I love the cheesy songs and hokey TV Shows. It was magical to me as a kid and I want it to be for my kids.

    I’m sure you’ll blast me with a barrage of comments of how I’m missing the point and how we need to rally behind our cause and such…

    I’ve now have lived on both sides of the fence and at the end of the day when I go home and see my beautiful wife and kids it all doesn’t mean a thing to me.

    I so suck, I’m actually going to quote a bible verse. (stone me, please)

    Ecclesiastes 2:11:
    Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.

    Alpha Male has been bustin’ my balls for weeks about my Christmas songs I play…

    Bing Crosby… I LUV EM’

  20. David Says:

    Hi, I AM. Did you know that Beyond Belief Media had declared their War on Christmas the day before you did? They are the people behind The God Who Wasn’t There, and it’s really a marketing campaign to promote that (great) documentary. When I read the title of your post I thought you must be part of it. But you’re not. Are you?

  21. Delta Says:

    I’m greatly looking forward to your posts I AM. And this real-time preview thing is pretty damn sweet I must say.

  22. Reluctant Atheist Says:

    I wish I could be so glib as the rest of you. Really, I do.
    Am going thru some weird family thing.
    Got co-opted (hijacked, really) at TG, held up my hands protested I was an atheist, got my hands grabbed, BAMMMM! prayer was over.
    Not wanting to make a problem (younger sister’s house, holidays, all that), I sent her a private email saying I didn’t appreciate it, etc.
    Well, she forwards it to mom, who immediately lays into me (we had a heart-to-heart afterward).
    My mom, BTW, is an excommunicated Catholic, since she married a divorced man. (Old school Irish C, no less).
    Sent her another email, told her not to involve others in our discussion (I was none too polite, both times, granted).
    Just received an email yesterday.
    Basically, it was a mini-rant stating that they celebrate the holidays in their house, either I participate, or I can stay home.
    & she’s not EVEN RELIGIOUS. But her son (my nephew) has suddenly insisted on praying before meals.
    Not even a church-goer. Not a ‘thumper’.
    Today, was told via email, that I can just not pray, just. & I quote, “You may be excused from the prayer, it’s easy just sit there & put your head down say nothing & no one will know the difference…”
    Xmas has always been a big tradition in our family.
    I’m recently become an atheist, so it looks like I may have to boycott the entire event. 1st time in 47 yrs.
    All over being excused from the table for 5 seconds.
    Being a minority really sucks, sometimes.
    It just seems so….microcosmic.

  23. I Am Says:

    Hi, I AM. Did you know that Beyond Belief Media had declared their War on Christmas the day before you did?

    Nope. I’m not involved. I hate it when people copy me, especially when the do it before I do. :?

    I’m sure you’ll blast me with a barrage of comments of how I’m missing the point and how we need to rally behind our cause and such…

    I do think you’re missing the point, but I don’t mean that in a bad way. I too “celebrate” Christmas. I don’t have much of a choice. Everyone around me celebrates it. I can’t really tell everyone I know “Sorry, no presents this year,” knowing full well that they’re shopping for me. Furthermore, my wife (an atheist) is a Christmas lover, so we have a tree and whole nine yards because I love her and I want her to be happy. I despise Christmas on a personal level, but that’s another post.

    Whether I celebrate it or not (willingly or otherwise), doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t be a public matter. You enjoy Christmas because of your family’s celebration, not because they have a Christmas banner at Target. And, by saying that you don’t care because you celebrate Christmas, you’re being just as selfish as the Christians. How do you think it makes some religious non-Christians feel to see a government sponsored nativity?

    Anyway, you’re a valued member of this community (or congregation if you prefer), and I think your comment has some valid points, but think about this issue outside your home. What you do in your house is your business, not mine.

  24. Constantine Says:

    Good Stuff. :mrgreen:

    I agree. What is done in ones home is his business… unless it’s affecting my family.

    The commercialization of the “holiday” drives me crazy. I hate seeing my wife run around like a crazy person trying to make sure Aunt Ruth has her gift. I never liked Aunt Ruth anyway. :evil:

    Now if I opened my door one day to the streets filled with overweight men in slick suits and bad comb overs singing, “Onward Christian Soldiers”. Then telling me that I would be “expected” to have a cross and nativity scene in my yard… After I removed my foot from his arse, we’d commence to fightin’ (down south slang).

    Now don’t think I only bitch on here. I’ll be on some christian site telling them all about the pagan roots of christianity and how GEEZUS and Santa are one in the same.

    Good Ole St. Dick! ;)

    ;) ;)

  25. Neutral Atheist Says:

    Since almost everything in Christmas is originally un-christian related and borrowed from pagans, I don’t see why there should be a “War on Christmas”. Sure, you can remove the nativity scene from the town square. The Christmas Trees can stay; they aren’t imposing religion on anyone, and the Rockefeller one looks pretty. Anyone can celebrate Chirstmas (or Chunnukah, etc. for that matter) without being religious about it. Maybe I’m wrong, but King’s College Choir Carols sound better than Frosty the Snowman blasted in a mall loudspeaker.

  26. Kele Says:

    How many people actually celebrate Christmas because it’s Jesus’ birth? I don’t know if my experience is just different or something, but I don’t think anyone I know celebrates it for that reason. It seems like Christmas is just another Hallmark holiday, completely secular. When you ask someone what Christmas is about, I think plenty would say it’s about spending time with family and kids will say presents. In a recent post of his, Ed Brayton goes over O’Reilly’s Christmas memories and there is no mention of Jesus or God or anything.

    I might be completely wrong of course, but I think Christmas has lost a lot of it’s Christian meaning. *shrug*

  27. sailer Says:

    i pray for your salvation…

  28. Uberkuh Says:

    i pray for your salvation…

    I pray you learn how to spell your own name.

  29. DUB Says:

    Christmas is Johnny Mathis and toys. Who knew God was involved?

    The closest it came to religion in my household was the lie of Santa Claus as preparation for the lies of God and Jesus and miracles and faith and salvations, etc, etc, etc.

  30. Daniel Says:
    “Christianity is Goliath, this blog is my slingshot!”

    I think that should be your tag line.

  31. Daniel Says:
    “Christianity is Goliath, this blog is my slingshot!”

    I think that should be your tag line.

    Reference a christian story on your blog? I reckognize your right to do so, but I will read elsewhere. How dare you force religion on me!

  32. Jill Marie Says:

    :D I just wanted to wish you a Merry CHRISTmas! May your Holidays be blessed with love, joy and peace. I certainly believe everyone has a right to their own beliefs and the right to choose how they want to live their life. Just like I do too.

    However, I am not gay, yet I am not offended when I see a rainbow sticker on someones bumper. I am not african and I am not offended when someone tells me Happy Kwanza or if they choose to hae tree stumps implanted in their ear lobes. I am not Jewish, and I am not offended when someone wishes me Happy Hannukah or if I see a menorah in a window. I simply take these as well wishes from others and the diversity of the human race and our beliefs and religions.

    Perhaps I don’t find it offensive because I am not overly sensitive and I choose to support others rights to live their lives as they choose.

    So with all sincerity I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Gay Rainbow day and a very blessed New Year to you and your familiy.

    Peace out! :D

  33. I Am Says:

    Jill Marie:

    I clearly stated in my post that I am offended when people wish me a Merry Christmas because they can’t even imagine that I’m not a Christian. YOU, however, KNOW that I am not a Christian and that I am offended. Therefore, your “well wishes” are obviously intended to offend me. How do you think Jesus would feel about that, Jill Marie? Personally, I think he would cry. Yes, you’ve made Jesus cry and you’ll just have to live with that.

  34. Jill Marie Says:

    LMAO!

    Apparently you have not heard of spreading the word. No Jesus, would not cry to hear me say that I believe in him and that I wish you well in his name. Although perhaps your right…perhaps he cried with joy that I was able to wish you well for all the holidays even though you don’t believe.

    Yes, clearly read that you are offended. Perhaps you missed my writing about being to sensitve…you truly are VERY thin skinned if you take offense to someone wishing you well.

    Well, I refuse to take it back! Again I wish you and your family a blessed New Year along with all the other holiday/religious comments that you take offense at. I truly fear for you mental well being if you are that easily offended.

    May God grant your tormented mind and soul peace. ;)

  35. Brenen Says:

    i would just like to say ATHEISM IS THE CULTURE OF DEATH AND ATHEISM IS A DISEASE. Who cares if places put up nativity scenes, u dont have to look at them, no ones forcing u to believe in Christ. If they put up the star of david instead of a nativity would you all get upset still? i wouldnt and im not jewish. so if i made up a religion worshipping chairs and i made a holiday worshipping the holy chair in my business would you all not shop there just cause it has religion? MERRY CHRISTMAS!!