Godless Gifts
The retail season is well under way. People all around us are preparing to celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, Yule, etc., and America’s malls and toy stores are full of the holiday spirit and riot police. Since Black Friday and Cyber Monday have already passed, I’m sure much of your shopping is done (yeah right), but I have some suggestions you may want to consider if you have any gifts left to buy.
As Henry Rollins once said, “If life hands you lemons, say ‘Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else ya got?’.” In that spirit, I would suggest using the biggest religious festival season of the year as a platform for enlightening the masses. Take a little time to think about the people on your list, and pick out the most blatant atheist present you think you can get away with for each person. If your Aunt Sarah is an agnostic, go all out. Get her a Richard Dawkins book. If your brother is a rabid evangelical, be a bit more subtle. Buy his kid a chemistry set or a telescope. The point is to locate the line for each person, and advance it just a little.
I now present the Evangelical Atheist’s General Godless Gift Giving Guide (EA5G) with links to some appropriate presents for the presentation of practical perspectives to people who promote preposterous precepts.
Books or Movies by or with these people
Giant Microbes (my wife gave me Epstein-Barr last year, and it’s adorable)
A subscription to:
American Atheist Magazine
Archaeology Magazine
Discover
Freethought Today
National Geographic
National Wildlife
New Scientist
Popular Science
Scientific American
Skeptic Magazine
Smithsonian
For kids, a subscription to:
Dig
National Geographic Kids
National Geographic World
Your Big Backyard
FYI, I don’t have any kind of affiliate deals, so shop around for the best price. I just defaulted to Amazon for much of this.
If, in addition to presents, you want some verbal ammunition to use against the Christian of your choice this holiday season, check out addict_no_more’s latest post.
~I AM~
P.S. I had over 100,000 page views from over 6,500 unique visitors in the month of November. Thanks for reading, everyone.
December 1st, 2005 at at 11:12 pm
Wow, I’m just happy if I get 65 page views… that’s awesome, I AM, and well deserved. Thanks for the promotion, btw.
I’ll take all I can get 
!
I’ve seen those Giant Microbes on TV, and thought about getting my sister or husband one. I imagine if your wife had given you the real “kissing disease” you might have found it less adorable, though!
I love this gift guide you’ve compiled, and wish I hadn’t finished pretty much all of my shopping already. Yeah, I’m a dork. My husband was a last minute shopper before me. We spent one awful Sunday night in a mall the week of Christmas, and I realized I’d better take over. God bless the internets.
December 2nd, 2005 at at 12:16 am
Holy crap, those giant microbes are awesome. I so want the e. coli one. Also, I’m looking to get a few books on evolution so I think I’m set in this general area. Maybe I should get a magazine subscription and/or rent some of those movies… Thanks for the list.
December 2nd, 2005 at at 12:32 am
Thanks for the list. Thanks for November. Thanks for the months before November. Just thanks!
December 2nd, 2005 at at 2:12 am
I thought Chrismas originated in the Roman Saturnalia?
December 2nd, 2005 at at 11:00 am
Here are a few more suggestions:
- A gift membership to The American Humanist Association
- Life on Earth: The Story of Evolution
- The Walking With Dinosaurs series
December 2nd, 2005 at at 12:05 pm
DHR - the Roman version of the Winter Solstice is just one inspiration for Christmas, though probably one of the best known. Pagans all over Europe needed to be converted, and they had celebrations of their own… and of course, it’s not just Christmas that was created to help, but also Easter.
December 2nd, 2005 at at 2:55 pm
anm - A quick Google showed that humans have been celebrating at midwinter far beyond Roman times. It seems to be a universal human characteristic to set out special days, maybe as a result of agriculture?
Christmas = Christ’s mass, a decidedly Catholic concept, so why are Protestants so up in arms?
December 2nd, 2005 at at 3:00 pm
Don’t forget FSM gear!
December 2nd, 2005 at at 4:03 pm
For kids, a subscription to:
It’s a shame they discontinued Kid’s Discover. I loved those things.
December 2nd, 2005 at at 7:04 pm
Those Giant Microbes look great… awesome list.
December 2nd, 2005 at at 9:14 pm
*rereads post*
Ah, I seem to have missed the aforementioned gear. Silly me.
RAmen.
December 3rd, 2005 at at 9:13 am
Excellent list! It’ll come in handy!
Thanks
December 3rd, 2005 at at 5:09 pm
Those microbes are brilliant. I must obtain one.
Jolly good list.
December 3rd, 2005 at at 5:19 pm
Ah, it turns out my mother used the microbes to teach biology, so I now possess several. Let us thank His Noodliness.
December 3rd, 2005 at at 5:46 pm
Those microbes must be Intellegently designiesd, theerefore dispoving all of Darwnism
December 3rd, 2005 at at 10:59 pm
Nice job on the page views - I came in at a mere 4,400 or so.
December 4th, 2005 at at 12:19 am
Another magazine to add is Free Inquiry from the Council of Secular Humanism. They also do Skeptical Inquirer as well.