Thank God I’m an Atheist
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States. While it’s technically not a religious holiday, it can be a difficult one for atheists for grammatical reasons. “Thank” is a transitive verb, meaning that it requires a direct object. One cannot simply thank. One must thank someone or something. For the vast majority of Americans, that someone or something is god. So, as atheists, who are we thanking? Well, we could thank each other for showing up for dinner. We could thank the poultry farmers for providing the main course. We could thank the football players for working on a holiday. However, none of these seem to be very good reasons to take a couple of days off and have a feast.
Despite the cognitive dissonance caused by its name, I support the spirit of Thanksgiving. I think that taking time once a year to reflect on the positive aspects of one’s life is a good idea. In a world that often seems like it has gone mad, it’s easy for the good things to slip through the mental cracks. After watching the devastation of a monster hurricane or seeing the rising death toll of an unpopular war, we forget to appreciate the roofs over our heads and the people who love us. The news is full of poverty and forced labor, but most of us have the money to buy computers and the free time to visit blogs. There are only 850 million telephone lines in this world of 6.5 billion people, but most of us have broadband, cell phones and on-demand movies. Billions of people are enslaved by religion, but we are free.
I can thank the people responsible for some of that. My family will be there, so I can thank them. If you happen to run into a veteran tomorrow, you might want to thank him, also. If you happen to know Tim Berners-Lee, maybe send him an email. However, most of the people responsible for this incredible quality of life I enjoy are anonymous, dead or both. So, while we are celebrating Thanksgiving, lets also celebrate the simpler holiday of Gladhaving, because that encourages you to appreciate all the good in your life, including the parts for which there is no one to thank but yourself. If you do this, I guarantee you’ll awaken from your Turkey-induced coma on Friday morning with a much rosier picture of the world. It may only last until you turn on the news or try to find a parking space at the mall, but it’s better than nothing.
~I AM~
P.S. In the spirit of the holiday, I’d like to thank all of you for reading, commenters and lurkers alike. I’d also like to thank the few good electronic friends I’ve made because of this blog. You know who you are. If you’re not sure whether I’m including you, assume that I am. That way, everyone’s happy. 
November 23rd, 2005 at at 3:07 pm
So the elementary school story about giving thanks to each other for helping the community as a whole through the winter are bogus?
November 23rd, 2005 at at 3:56 pm
When we do grace, and others at the table thank god, I look at my family members and thank them for something – thanks to the whole family for being here….
November 23rd, 2005 at at 4:28 pm
Before the internet and blogs really took off, there was little hope of one atheist finding another and discussing their common views. Blogs like this help facilitate communication between atheists and nonatheists (negating a negator) alike. One wonderful realization is to find out that there are people like you out there in blogosphere with similar views – at least when it comes to religion. This makes us feel more secure in our beliefs and in our understanding of the universe. We can come here and share our knowledge and mutual feelings regarding religion, and not have to worry about angry stares and riled-up hicks. An open world, designed on information sharing, replete with people who have brains in their heads, awaits me whenever I get online. My many thanks to I AM and all the other folks who blog or otherwise contribute to the stimulating conversations that take place in cyberspace.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 4:47 pm
I always thank Kroger, our local grocery store, for providing the food… I guess I could thank my family and friends, but that would be too somber.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 5:39 pm
I’m probably ruining the mood here, but I get the impression that few are continually thankful for what they have all year round and few are as charitable at f-ing x-mas as they are the rest of the year. With jesus everywhere, why don’t we see more jolly, charitable, thankful people all of the time?
I try to live every day keeping in mind what I’ve got and how easy it is to lose it all, and I EMPATHIZE about others’ situations. When did caring about and understanding others become a once a year thing?
It is sad we have to be reminded not to be uncaring, unthankful assholes. I think x-mas exaggerates the problem.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 6:05 pm
I emailed the divine TBL.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 6:07 pm
Tomorrow I will be forced to spend the entire day in a house full of funnymentalists (my wife’s family) so, I will give thanks for nuttin’ and hope against hope I can keep my mouth shut.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 7:09 pm
“I think that taking time once a year to reflect on the positive aspects of one’s life is a good idea.”
I agree completely.
And I am slightly weirded out, because my older brother was just talking about how he’s learning about cognitive dissonance in his psych class at college, and mentioned how religion is full of it…then I see it on an atheist blog. Hey, I found it notable.
Boywonder––I completely agree. It’s just more cognitive dissonance, I suppose.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 7:19 pm
I am thankful for myself and my ability to think independently. Not enough people thank themselves IMO so we should all try to do that.
I thank all the atheist bloggers and activists out there.
And finally I thank God for having the courtesy not to exist
November 23rd, 2005 at at 8:40 pm
A funny thing I forgot to mention. My birthday falls on thanksgiving day this year.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 10:04 pm
Happy birthday AK. Mine is Saturday. People still have to bring me gifts because we are having Thanksgiving dinner at my place for the first time ever.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 10:42 pm
I for one am thankful for my medicatioon, without which I woulJKYSDFGLIJYHVBFI:KHASBDVIKHSVDUWYOGEDP:IUDVIKWHYOVDP:IWUDVUWYVFDPOIFH{OIHF.
Happy Holidays everyone.
November 23rd, 2005 at at 11:58 pm
Happy Secular Thanksgiving Everyone!
November 24th, 2005 at at 2:42 am
Those who read my blog know that I have quite a bit to be thankful for, as I was robbed at gunpoint last week and got my face beaten in.
Also, my sister’s boyfriend had a massive stroke and died on top of her Wednesday morning (at the ripe old age of 34).
So I am thankful not only to be alive myself, but for those I love. Unfortunately it’s things like this that make you realize these things ever so more clearly.
I do celebrate the holiday for just these reasons. I do not allow myself to associate it in any form with the make-believe story about Pilgrim-Native American “peace”, because I know that these religious zealots robbed and killed said Natives.
If I see a Revolutionary War, Civil War, or WW2 veteran, I will thank them: I fail to see how my freedoms were protected in the actions of any other wars in our history. This does not mean I lack respect for the soldiers who fought, just that my eyes aren’t shut to the truth.
Happy Gladhaving, y’all.
November 24th, 2005 at at 3:50 pm
Well said, have a great Thanksgiving everyone!
November 25th, 2005 at at 3:38 am
Thanks EA, for this blog. Also, thanks to all rational-bloggers and commenters all over the Internet. And thanks to Al Gore for inventing the Internet
November 25th, 2005 at at 10:17 am
I AM, thank you for the sound thinking here.
And to the internet in general, grazie. Well, except for the spammers. May you choke on a bone.
It’s a grand thing folk like us can find others like us and celebrate quality thinking and time well spent.
I do send my sympathy out to the TV zombie godheads. I truly feel sorry for them for not being born with the capacity to think beyond their little book and sky friends and next weeks Survivor.
And, I launch a HUGE thanks to whomever first figured out how to make booze.
Cheers! To your health, one and all!
November 25th, 2005 at at 11:20 pm
Aaron wrote:
“A funny thing I forgot to mention. My birthday falls on thanksgiving day this year.”
Happy belated birthday, Aaron!
November 27th, 2005 at at 12:03 am
My gratitude for the huge pile of ‘things’ I have in this life, is stimulated by seeing those who don’t have very much at all. Never really saw people live and in person, who don’t have much, until I got off my butt and started delivering meals and clothing and some companionship to folks in my own community. Didn’t even realize they were there. Old people, mentally challenged, physically challenged…. living on the dole I suppose.
One comment to the Atheist Messiah… jolly, charitible, thankful people are out there everywhere. Litterally millions of them…quietly doing amazing acts of selfless kindness for others, with little fanfare… You’ll see them if you look… , at the churches, hospitals, hospice etc.