It should be obvious by now to those who follow this series that god loves killing and especially enjoys it when people kill for him. The big guy is a big fan of capital punishment. This week, I have compiled over forty verses from the first five books of the Bible that call for the death penalty for specific crimes. This should be especially instructive for those who believe that the American judicial system is built on Judeo-Christian law.

Violence

Anyone who kills a human being must be put to death (LEV 24:17, 21), especially if it is intentional (EXO 21:14). This particularly applies if the murderer kills by striking his victim (EXO 21:12), whether he strikes with a iron object (NUM 35:16), a stone (NUM 35:17) or a wooden object (NUM 35:18). The execution of the murderer should be done by the “avenger of blood” (NUM 35:19, 21). A fine is not good enough. The murderer must be killed (NUM 35:31).

Sometimes, the victim need not be killed to warrant the death penalty. For example, anyone who attacks his father or mother must be executed (EXO 21:15).

The death penalty can only be carried out if there are witnesses. One witness is not enough (NUM 35:30). There must be two or three witnesses for an execution to be carried out (DEU 17:6).

 
Personal or Property Crime

Kidnapping is punishable by death, but only if the kidnapper sells his victim or still has the victim when he is caught (EXO 21:16).

If a person owns a bull that has the habit of goring people and that bull gets free and kills someone, both the bull and the owner are to be put to death (EXO 21:29).

 
Thought or Speech

Cursing ones father or mother is a capital offense (EXO 21:17, LEV 20:9). Under this law, every teenager in America must die.

If a person is found to be “devoted to destruction,” he should be killed (LEV 27:29).

Contempt of court is punishable by death (DEU 17:12). I’m sure a lot of American judges would like to see this one implemented.

 
Sex

God really likes killing people for having sex. This is a rich category.

If a man sleeps with another man’s wife, both participants are to be executed (LEV 20:10). This is especially true if the woman is his father’s wife (LEV 20:11). While we’re talking about sex in the family, a man may not sleep with his daughter-in-law, or both of them will be killed (LEV 20:12). Sleeping with a slave girl who has been promised to another man is not a capital offense, however (LEV 19:20). If these laws were implemented in the U.S., it would really lighten the load on the divorce courts.

Anything outside of standard man-woman intercourse is right out. Male homosexuality is punishable by death (LEV 20:13). If a man has sex with an animal, he must be killed (EXO 22:19) and so must the animal (LEV 20:15). If a woman even approaches an animal to have sex with it, the woman and the animal must die (LEV 20:16). Just think of all the jobs that would be lost in the internet porn industry if these laws were enacted in America.

 
Religion

It’s not surprising, with god making the rules, that a lot of crimes against god are on the list of capital offenses.

Blaspheming the name of the lord will get you killed (LEV 24:16, 23). I would be in a lot of trouble. Mediums, spiritists (LEV 20:27), witches (EXO 22:18) and prophets or dreamers for other gods (DEU 13:5) all must be executed. If you work on the Sabbath day, you die (EXO 31:14-15, EXO 35:2).

Some of the rules don’t really apply anymore, but archaeologists beware. If you touch Mt. Sinai, you must be executed (EXO 19:12). Hmmm… I wonder why Moses might have wanted to keep people off the mountain where he “spoke to god.” Anyone, other than the priests, who approaches the tabernacle or the sanctuary must be killed (NUM 1:51, NUM 3:10, NUM 3:38, NUM 18:7). Noticing a pattern? Pay no attention to the men behind the curtain.

The worship of Baal (NUM 25:5), Molech (LEV 20:2) or other gods (DEU 18:20) is also a capital offense. Hey, the guy’s name is Jealous (EXO 34:14). We get it.

That’s just the first five books. I’ve also only taken passages that are statements of law and not simply god telling someone to kill for a particular incident, which often goes beyond the crimes listed here.

Let’s review. God likes killing people. Maybe that’s why he made so many of them. If you’re the owner of an bull, a homosexual, a Hindu, a tarot card reader or a rebellious teenager, be thankful that god doesn’t make the rules in the USA. Dick.

~I AM~