This week, we will focus on Hinduism for the first time, analyzing the misbehavior of Indra in the Sixth book of the Devi Bhagavatam, a scripture sacred to Shakta Hindus.

Vis’vakarmâ was an ascetic who served as an architect for the gods. However, he didn’t much care for Indra, so he created a son named Tris’iraska Visvarûpa (Tris’irâ) who would be capable of taking Indra’s throne from him. Tris’irâ was special because he had three faces. You see, India was the birthplace of multitasking long before becoming the tech-support capital of the world.

Visvarûpa performed three different functions with his three different faces; with one, he used to study the Vedas, with the second he used to drink nectar (wine), and with the third he used to see simultaneously all the directions. Tris’irâ renounced the pleasures of the world and began to practise a hard tapasyâ (ordeal or trial); he became a great ascetic, gentle, restrained in his passions and entirely devoted to his religion. (Devi Bhagavatam, Book 6, Ch. 1)

Indra watched as Tris’irâ learned and grew stronger. He soon became anxious and started to plot against him. Indra decided that the way to destroy an ascetic was with lust, so he summoned the Apsarâs (hot Hindu nymphs) and told them to put on sexy clothes and seduce Tris’irâ. They assured him that they were up to the task.

“O Lord of the Devas! Do not be afraid! We will try our best to seduce him. O highly Lustrous One! For the enticing away of the Muni (sage), we will do all the things, dancing, music and other amorous gestures and practices, that will discard your fear. O King of the Gods! We will unsettle the mind of the Muni by our side glances and passionate gestures and postures, delude and tie him and then bring him under our control.” (Devi Bhagavatam, Book 6, Ch. 1)

Well, Tris’irâ’s focus was unshakable. The Apsarâs sang, danced and exhibited “amorous gestures and postures” for several days, but he did not even notice them. Eventually, they returned to Indra with the bad news, telling him that they were just thankful that the high-souled Muni didn’t choose to curse them. Indra’s mind turned violent and he decided he would have to kill his enemy. He mounted his elephant and rode to Tris’irâ, who he found deep in meditation with a halo as bright as the sun emanating from his body. He hesitated momentarily.

“Oh! Can I slay this Muni, free from any vicious inclinations, and endowed with the power of Tapas, blazing like a fire! This is quite against the Dharma (law). But, Alas! He wants to usurp my position; how can I, then, neglect such an enemy?” Thus cogitating, Indra hurled at the Muni his swift going, infallible thunderbolt, the Muni remaining engaged in his penance and shining like the Sun and Moon. The ascetic, struck thus, fell on the ground and died, like a mountain peak struck by thunder falling on the ground and presenting a wondrous sight. (Devi Bhagavatam, Book 6, Ch. 2)

The other Munis cried out and rebuked Indra for his crime, but he was glad he had killed Tris’irâ. However, his paranoia took over, and upon examining the body, Indra didn’t think he looked dead enough. He was worried that Tris’irâ might rise again, so he asked the wood cutter Taksa to cut off the Muni’s heads with his axe.

Taksa said that his axe would not go through such a big neck, but this was only an excuse. He really just felt it wrong to cut the heads off a dead, three-headed ascetic. (Who among us hasn’t been in that position?) Taksa chastised Indra, reminding him that he had slain demons and asking why this mere Muni had caused him to be so afraid.

After arguing for a while, Indra offered Taksa the head of any animal he received as a sacrifice. For some reason, Taksa found this to be an appealing offer and did as he had been asked.

If you’re dying to know what happens to Indra, the colorful tale continues, but that’s enough for now.

Let’s review. Indra sees an ascetic gaining too much power too quickly. He fears the loss of his throne, so he seeks to destroy the threat. He sends sexy nymphs to break the Muni’s concentration, but that doesn’t work. He rides off to take care of things himself and hesitates because he acknowledges how wrong it would be to kill Tris’irâ, particularly while he’s meditating. He kills him anyway. Indra is so insecure that the death of his enemy isn’t enough, so he has a woodsman cut off the Muni’s three heads for good measure. Dick.

~I AM~

P.S. Carnival of the Godless #26 (in which I am featured) is up at A Rational Being.