God is a Dick - Part XVI: Zephaniah
Toward the end of the Old Testament, mixed in with the other “minor prophets,” is the seldom-noted book of Zephaniah. In these three chapters, Zephaniah serves as god’s scribe, directly recording his words about his plans for the world.
I will utterly consume all [things] from off the land, saith the LORD. I will consume man and beast; I will consume the fowls of the heaven, and the fishes of the sea, and the stumblingblocks with the wicked; and I will cut off man from off the land, saith the LORD. (ZEP 1:2-3 KJV)
That’s one hell of a beginning. God doesn’t mince words. We’re three verses in, and he’s already told us that every living thing will be destroyed. He follows that up with a detailed list of who will be destroyed. This list includes Judah, the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the followers of Baal, those who worship Yahweh alongside other gods, those who used to worship him and stopped, princes, the king’s children, anyone wearing strange clothes, merchants and anyone carrying silver. Yup, these all fall into the aforementioned category of “all things,” so he’s been pretty consistent thus far.
You can’t escape from god, because he says he’ll search Jerusalem with candles. Really bright, omnipotent candles, one would assume. Those he finds with his super god-candles will be forced to build houses, but not live in them and to plant vineyards, but not drink the wine. Compared to being “utterly consumed,” this doesn’t sound that bad.
So, the hit list is complete (for now). What more needs to be said? Oh, I know. He’ll probably give us some scary, nonspecific passages and some unpleasant details about how he’ll make us suffer. Let’s see if I’m right.
The great day of the LORD [is] near, [it is] near, and hasteth greatly, [even] the voice of the day of the LORD: the mighty man shall cry there bitterly. That day [is] a day of wrath, a day of trouble and distress, a day of wasteness and desolation, a day of darkness and gloominess, a day of clouds and thick darkness, A day of the trumpet and alarm against the fenced cities, and against the high towers. And I will bring distress upon men, that they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against the LORD: and their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung. (ZEP 1:14-17 KJV)
Colorful.
God changes his tune at the beginning of chapter two, however. After making blanket statements about upcoming death and destruction, god gives people a way out, because after all, these are merely empty threats intended to induce the desired behaviors. When the prophesied doom does not come to pass, those who have followed the “righteous path” assume that they have been saved because of it, and their faith is affirmed. He does this kind of thing often. (See the book of Jonah for a good example.)
Before the decree bring forth, [before] the day pass as the chaff, before the fierce anger of the LORD come upon you, before the day of the LORD’S anger come upon you. Seek ye the LORD, all ye meek of the earth, which have wrought his judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the LORD’S anger. (ZEP 2:2-3 KJV)
God then goes back to his itemized list of targets. He will destroy Gaza, Ashkelon, Ashdod, Ekron, the Cherethites, Canaan, Moab, Ammon, Ethiopia and Assyria. At least a couple of these were already wiped out earlier in the Old Testament, but I guess a couple of people survived. No matter. They will be redestroyed.
Most of chapter three is simply additional raving about the obliteration of cities, but let’s have one more parting thought from god. Yahweh, would you care to sum up your position?
Therefore wait ye upon me, saith the LORD, until the day that I rise up to the prey: for my determination [is] to gather the nations, that I may assemble the kingdoms, to pour upon them mine indignation, [even] all my fierce anger: for all the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy. (ZEP 3:8 KJV)
Thank you.
Let’s review. God will destroy everything. He will destroy many specific groups of people, all of whom are part of everything anyway. Some of them will have to build houses and plant grapes prior to their destruction. Wait. You can get out of it if you believe. But, in case you missed it, god will destroy everything. Dick.
~I AM~
P.S. Carnival of the Godless 25 is up at The Common Man.
October 16th, 2005 at at 1:25 pm
Well, I hope my blog reaches 10 thousand hits before god kills me.
October 16th, 2005 at at 2:06 pm
It’s the little books hidden in in the middle of the Bible that are the wierdest. Awesome post.
October 16th, 2005 at at 2:42 pm
I love this series. . . in a purely non-sexual way.
October 16th, 2005 at at 2:43 pm
At least one can say Yahweh stays ‘on message’.
October 16th, 2005 at at 3:34 pm
Wow… interesting philosophy, but you’re missing everything he’s saying. This passage is talking about the Revelation. God is going to take all his people up from Earth, then the judgemnets begin. During this time, some people will turn from their stubborn ways and believe. Unfortunately, they will be too late to escape tribulation. But God will give protection from some of the Tribulations, but not all. Those who remain stubborn in their ideas that God isn’t “the Way, the Truth, and the Light…” won’t have protection and will inevitably die within the span of seven years. By the end of the seven years, the earth as we know it, will have been destroyed and God will establish his kingdom here for 1000 years. What makes this passage awesome is that God gave this message to Zephaniah way before the Messiah even came to the Earth the first time. Does this sound crazy? That’s because you don’t believe. Once you become a Christian, you realize that the human brain just doesn’t have the capacity to comprehend everything God does. You just have to have faith. Do me a favor and pay attention to what the bible says. It’s the difference between eternal life and death. I’ve seen it change many people. I also suggest you not attempt to blasheme God’s Word, but I’m not your mother.
October 16th, 2005 at at 3:45 pm
Danielle:
I appreciate your concern, but paying attention to what the Bible says is what got me here in the first place.
October 16th, 2005 at at 3:57 pm
Danielle…..AMEN. I couldn’t have said it better. It is even harder for those who aren’t saved to comprhend Heaven, and tribulation…and many other things the bible speaks of. God’s way and thoughts are much greater than ours. You must study the Bible before you quote it, because most of what I read on this site is out of context. You have to find out what some words really mean in their original language. I suggest getting a Strongs concordance to study the verse first. God loves you just as He loves me. He is not the type of God you paint Him out to be….angry and mean. This world is run by satan, not God. And unless you have a will and desire to do God’s will, I believe He is not able to move in your life. God gave us free will. It is your chioce to do the things you do, not God’s. So when you see murder, rape, stealing etc….that is the people who do these things, its their choice. And when you see natural disasters, that is not of God, but because of sin. Before Adam and Eve sinned, the earth was beautiful. The ground was watered from ground up. It wasn’t until Noah before it even rained. So, the world is not messed up because of God, but because of satan. God’s wrath will come, but for those who believe will be prepared and protected from it.
October 16th, 2005 at at 4:07 pm
Don’t you mean the Apocalypse Danielle? Not the revelation? And… hey… since God would know that the apocalypse isn’t going to happen for another few millenia, you’d think he’d drop the mention of Baal and all the anachronistic references to gods and peoples long dead. I’d totally convert if God had mentioned Scientologists, Mormons, and Dungeons and Dragons players as being groups that will be destroyed (AND BEHOLD, YE OF THE 20-SIDED DICE, YE SHALL BE CONSUMED, so sayeth the Lord, whose name is JEALOUSY). That would give the impression of omnipotence, not the insane ravings of spelenetic (he’s GONNA EAT YA) )(BUT HE LOVES YA, AND YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE HE SENT 1 of HIS THREE PERSONALITIES TO KILL ITSELF SO THAT THE OTHER TWO-THIRDS COULD FORGIVE YOU NASTY HUMANS CAUSE SOME CHICK AT SOME FRUIT) deity. Does it bother you that when god speaks, he sounds like Fred Phelps?
In any case, feel free to take the rantings of an old tribal religion seriously.
October 16th, 2005 at at 4:11 pm
This was as usual awesome, thanks.
Kind of tough for the folk who believe in devils and gods to tell the subtle difference between them isn’t it. Like the line in the Simpson’s where Homer asks “but Marge, what happens if we choose the wrong religion and god like punishes us forever…”
October 16th, 2005 at at 7:05 pm
Wow, what’s happening to the comments? After an entire childhood of hearing ramblings like some of the above hysteria, I find it refreshing and actually quite humorous to hear the old testament interpreted here. It’s like going to church in reverse.
October 16th, 2005 at at 8:29 pm
The all powerful creator of the universe is such an inept communicator that I have to buy a “Strongs concordance” to understand what he said in his own f**ing book? How lame is that?
Great article.
October 16th, 2005 at at 8:52 pm
Cubic Room,
I didn’t say that God made it so difficult to read the bible. I said that the language was different. The bible was written in Aramaic, and Greek. Their language is different as you know. There words are translated into our language. That is why you need to read the concordance. The word “fear” means different things depending if it was written greek or aramaic. Same with other words in the bible. When you check it out, what you may think one verse says, it may really mean something else. So, no our God is not screwed up. He knows all and made things clear to us, but it is our responsibility to study it. If you never studied math, you wouldn’t know how to do a math problem. Same with the bible, you don’t study it you won’t understand it. It takes more than just reading it, you have to study it.
October 16th, 2005 at at 9:04 pm
J:
I use the King James because it’s widely considered to be the most accurate English translation. If those who have devoted their careers, if not their lives, to translating the Bible can’t get it right, what hope does a mere, part-time atheist blogger have?
October 16th, 2005 at at 9:32 pm
Wow… interesting philosophy, but you’re missing everything he’s saying.
Yes, I Am, YHWH’s words are actually a message of love for all humankind. Tough love, perhaps, like that of a parent–you have to threaten to beat the sh*t out your kid and burn them to death to get them to behave, you know. But it’s love nonetheless.
Too bad you choose to reject His message of inspiration and hope.
Hahahaha! You were being sarcastic, too, right Danielle and J? You guys had me going there for a second, but nobody could possibly believe this filth comes from an omnipotent and omnibenevolent ruler of the universe. That’s too ridiculous. Hahahahaha!
October 16th, 2005 at at 9:34 pm
I Am, btw, King James is definitely not considered to be the most accurate translation–there are many known textual problems. But people like it because of the poetic/archaic language. Lots of “thou” and “thee” and “-eth” verb conjugations.
October 16th, 2005 at at 10:26 pm
“I use the King James because it’s widely considered to be the most accurate English translation. If those who have devoted their careers, if not their lives, to translating the Bible can’t get it right, what hope does a mere, part-time atheist blogger have?”
Blievers can’t even agree on what word of god is the true word of god, what hope is there for the rest of us.
October 16th, 2005 at at 10:36 pm
I Am says:
“At least a couple of these were already wiped out earlier in the Old Testament, but I guess a couple of people survived. No matter. They will be redestroyed.”
Absolutely brilliant.
Sure, God talks tough, but he knows I’ve got my iron chariots, so he can’t touch me.
October 16th, 2005 at at 10:40 pm
Sportin’ Life:
I was told once that the KJV was the most accurate, and it never occured to me to question it. I guess I took it “on faith.” As most of my readers are aware, none of my formal training is in Christianity. Thank you for this tidbit. I intend to research this and select a new translation if it is warranted.
October 16th, 2005 at at 11:15 pm
Yeah, it’s actually a very political topic–as you can imagine. I have an NRSV, which has useful footnotes when there are questions and idiosyncrasies about word usages. But the KJV has the traditional “biblical” language–perhaps the most colorful for “God is a Dick”-type quotations.
October 16th, 2005 at at 11:22 pm
Even if the KJV isn’t the most accurate, isn’t it the one that’s most widely used by Christians here in the US? I’d rather go by the one people use the most than the most accurate when talking about stuff like this.
October 16th, 2005 at at 11:34 pm
I would definately agree the KJV is not the best translation around. I personally prefer to use NIV, myself.
October 17th, 2005 at at 12:27 am
The KJV is the inspired word of god. Are you suggesting that the all powerful creator of this universe cannot even translate his inspired book from Greek or Armenian and make it say what it is suppose to say? How lame is that?
October 17th, 2005 at at 12:54 am
Kele:
I agree that I want a translation that’s in common use. Most Protestants own a KJV, but I think the Methodists are the only ones who use it in church. I believe most Protestant churches use the NIV or NRSV. Based on my preliminary research, those are the ones I’m leaning toward anyway. The NASB is also in the running, but it’s less widely used and not as easy to read.
October 17th, 2005 at at 9:44 am
The KJV is the inspired word of god and those who use any other version will be smitten and go straight to hell. Those who use Strong’s concordance to tamper with the meaning of god’s book will be smitten thrice and go straight to hell. So sayeth the lord.
October 17th, 2005 at at 10:05 am
J: God’s way and thoughts are much greater than ours. You must study the Bible before you quote it, because most of what I read on this site is out of context. You have to find out what some words really mean in their original language.
Out of context? Kind of like when god said that his commandments were an everlasting convenant with this chosen people but then changed his mind when christians found verses to justify doing away with following Torah? Yep, god’s ways are greater than mine. I thought a promise was a promise. But god is greater than me so it’s okay for him to change his mind. Dick.
I AM, I’ve heard that NIV means The Nearly Inspired Version (from some dude teaching ministry school, no less) so you may want to skip that one.
October 17th, 2005 at at 12:01 pm
Fuck that. The King James Bible 1611 edition is the ONLY accurate Bible. Period. All those other translations are just tools of Satan to turn True Christians away from God. How do I know? Cause I have faith! Beat THAT!
Danielle and J, I sincerely hope that you pray, pray, pray for this armageddon every spare second of your lives. And I hope you hold your breath in anticipation too. The fact that you want, and believe in, a violent end to the world as we know it, only demonstrates that you are members of an evil and inhumane Cult of Death. You believe in an afterlife that doesnt exist, and you desire for this very real existence to cease so that you may acheive your imaginary non-existent state.
You didnt exist before you were born. And you wont exist after you die. So do us a favor and leave this disgusting Christian cult please. Join the adult world, and drop your embarrasing and ridiculous superstition. Youre posts make you look like children.
October 17th, 2005 at at 12:04 pm
J said:
It takes more than just reading it, you have to study it.
Define “reading.” Define “study.”
October 17th, 2005 at at 12:11 pm
Aaron:
reading = reading
study = rationalizing
October 17th, 2005 at at 12:20 pm
Aaron,
That is your opinion. I have faith in God, afterlife, and His promises. I also believe in Heaven, Hell and judgement. That is my choice. Don’t look down on me because I have faith, and I believe in what I believe. That is childish. I don’t look down on you for what you believe. I thought this was a discussion.
Alpha,
God never changes. His promises 1,000+ years ago are the same today. I am not going to go into it, cuz you don’t care. It will be a never ending disagreement, that I choose not to get into. Lets agree to disagree. There is way more to the bible than any of you think. But until you study and know God on a personal level, it will never be seen in your eyes.
October 17th, 2005 at at 1:30 pm
J,
I agree to disagree. The thing is though, I do care. I’m extremely disappointed that the faith I grew up with has dissolved before my eyes. I did know God. At least I thought I did. I was born again and walked, talked, and studied God for several years. Then I started asking questions and neither christians, pastors, or the bible could sufficiently answer them. God? Well, he was surprisingly silent.
You can accuse me of anger and bitterness. Can you blame me?
October 17th, 2005 at at 1:43 pm
Alpha,
We all have questions. No one can now everything. There are a ton of unanswered questions out there. It takes your faith to push you past and to focus on God even more. I don’t know, but maybe the church you were in was not a good church. They are out there. God is never silent, but if you don’t take time to be with Him, you will not hear Him. Sometimes, it is a matter of waiting on Him to answer. I am sorry you don’t believe (if that is the case) anymore. I never accused anyone of anger or bitterness and if I did, I am sorry. That was not my intent. The more you fall away, the more you are sucked in the devils world, just where he wants you. You can ask me questions if you like, but I can’t guarentee that I will all. I have only been saved for 6 years, I am still learning a ton.
October 17th, 2005 at at 1:50 pm
Aaron, that’s funny. Pray, pray, pray, people!
October 17th, 2005 at at 1:59 pm
I feel sad for those like J & Danielle… wasting the one life we get on fairytale beliefs.
Danielle said:
Once you become a Christian, you realize that the human brain just doesn’t have the capacity to comprehend everything God does.
This is an interesting justification for blind faith. If it helps you to sleep at night…
All I know is, I WAS a Christian and I never realized that. I just went along with the party line of God has his own Plan for your life.
Then one day I realized I wanted my life to actually belong to me. Okay, it wasn’t that simple or specific, but I slowly came to understand this over time, with the help of some major observation.
J said:
The more you fall away, the more you are sucked in the devils world, just where he wants you.
Yikes. Half of me laughs at a statement like this. Half of me really feels for the person who thinks it, because I’ve been there. I remember sitting in a group at a Christian summer camp, and we were being reprimanded for being evil, little girls who didn’t have the proper respect for god and his ways. Anyway, as we were in our “prayer circle” a stray kitten wandered into the cabin. It distracted some of the girls, and the counselor yelled at them, and said that the kitten was Satan, come to take us from our time with God.
Uhm, yeah. Even as devout as I was in those days, I thought her comment a bit much.
J & Danielle - how do you know you DO believe in the “right” god? What if you’re wrong, and it’s Allah or Zeus you should be praying to? And I don’t want to hear that rote answer, “god talks to me”.
God doesn’t talk to anyone. He doesn’t have a voice because he doesn’t exist. If you seriously think god talks to you, I recommend therapy - and I am NOT trying to be cruel. I’m dead serious. You think we need prayers to prevent us going to hell, but I think (and I’m sure I’m not alone) that you actually need psychological evaluation. Again, I’m not trying to be mean… I’m being sincere.
October 17th, 2005 at at 2:13 pm
I feel bad for you, having to go to a camp like that. If this is how you were raised “christian” than yeah, I would not be a believer either. That statement I made was not meant to be taken like that. But the bible does say this is the devils world and he comes to steal, kill and destroy…bible, not my words. Again your feelings are yours. My feelings and beliefs are mine. God does speak to me, maybe not in human form but in spirit form. And what is it to you if I believe???? Is it a problem that I live my life the way I do??? It shouldn’t be. When we die, we all will see what will happen…..whether heaven, hell or nothing. It is sad to see so many fall away because of bad experiences like you had. If only you were interested now.
October 17th, 2005 at at 2:35 pm
J said:
“God speaks to me…in spirit form”
Yea, I think you need to get some help with that one. Seriously.
Also, why does an omnipotent, omniscience creator need to have an armageddon anyway? Why do we even exists if in the end, god already knows who is going to heaven and who isn’t? Wouldn’t it just be simpler to just destroy everything now and be done with it? All the people who will ever exist and who will ever be admitted into heaven will be there right now, and then the rest would go to hell? Really, what’s the poin? Is this all some sort of sick joke then?
October 17th, 2005 at at 2:37 pm
J said:
“God never changes”
On the contrary, god and jesus are constanly being redefined by each generation to fit with their current mindset.
October 17th, 2005 at at 3:06 pm
J said: The more you fall away, the more you are sucked in the devils world, just where he wants you.
Satan has grown from a member of god’s heavenly party who had no more power than allowed him (see Job) to the creator of all evil with powers nearly equal to god’s. I’ve read jewish writing where a visit from satan is practically welcomed because “the accuser” helped you build your faith. I don’t buy into the devil myth anymore.
As for god talking to me…in my days I heard from him. I believe that was more my conscience telling me what I wanted to hear or just my own mind working things out.
And of course there are questions that can’t be answered….and never will be. But getting answers to what I thought were basic questions that included “you just need to take it on faith,” “god’s ways are higher and different than ours, and “it’s satan distoring your mind” I figured it was time to move on and accept my actions and thoughts as my own.
This has gotten so off-topic. I need a frappuccino.
October 17th, 2005 at at 3:07 pm
Venti caramel frappuccino….mmmmmmmmmmm…sinfully delicious.
October 17th, 2005 at at 3:52 pm
franky Says:
J said:
“God never changes”
On the contrary, god and jesus are constanly being redefined by each generation to fit with their current mindset.
Well put franky. Well put.
October 17th, 2005 at at 4:37 pm
YOu can all think what you want, that is the way God made us. We can decide for ourselves the things we choose to believe. You know what I believe and that is that. We would be going in circles if I comment back. Just respect my beliefs as I do yours, and anyone else who comes in here that doesn’t believe the way you do. There are some people who put people down or call names, I was called a idiot (not on this topic, but the previous one). There really is no need for that. It is a discussion group. And if you don’t want Christians coming in here, then I think you should let them know. To everyone take care.
October 17th, 2005 at at 4:43 pm
J, I thought I called you a dumbass, not an idiot. Or, was I speaking to another dumbass? Just kidding. You’re more of a smartass who has given up thinking - the worst kind.
Btw, this is not a discussion group. It is the comment section of a website. You really need to think every once and a while just to function.
October 17th, 2005 at at 4:48 pm
What did I do? If someone was telling me that they heard voices in their head from a guy name “Charlie” who tells them to do things, then I would also recommend they get help. Why is it that change the name from “Charlie” to “God” and now people are offended. I want Bush to be sent to a shrink too, he hears voices.
Plus I was pointing out a truth when it comes to jesus and god, they are constantly being redefined for each successive generation. It’s a simple fact. Look throughout our history. From “Sinners, in the Hand of an Angry God” to these mega-churches that are promoting the notion “God wants you to be rich”. If that’s not redefining, then I don’t know what it is.
October 17th, 2005 at at 5:13 pm
Why do the theists always claim that they and their beliefs should be given respect? Fuck that. Just because you have chosen to disreguard evidence in favor of making shit up (or even worse - believing in other people’s made-up shit) you think that you deserve respect?? Respect should be given to people who have earned it, and their beliefs should be respected if those beliefs can be displayed (and supported by evidence) as true, or factual.
If I went around saying that I believe that all christ-worshipers are “sinning” and after death they will have all of their skin peeled off every day (it would regrow at night), would that belief need to be respected? What about the people that believe that killing non-believers is commanded by the invisable leader? Respect those beliefs too?
Tell you what - you want my respect, then show me the money. Have god stop by, perform some obvious miracles and I will respect your belief, till then you can suck my left nut.
October 17th, 2005 at at 5:32 pm
Uberkuh,
You just love to put people down don’t you??? You must be the type of person who was picked on and now to make yourself feel better you have to pick on others. I feel really sorry for those people. Grow up.
October 17th, 2005 at at 5:45 pm
J said:
That is your opinion. I have faith in God, afterlife, and His promises. I also believe in Heaven, Hell and judgement. That is my choice.
It certainly is.
Don’t look down on me because I have faith, and I believe in what I believe. That is childish. I don’t look down on you for what you believe. I thought this was a discussion.
Sorry if I sound condescending. Im not trying to insult you. I am however, disrespectful of the ideas that you hold. You trumpet faith like its a good thing. Faith is nothing more than belief in something without logical proof or material evidence. There is no merit in faith. Mark Twain said that faith is belief in something you know aint true. Dan Barker says that faith is a cop out because if you can only accept a proposition on faith, then you concede that it cant be taken on its own merits.
Do you think its a good idea for me to have faith in anything aside from faith in the Christian God, like maybe faith in the Tooth Fairy or faith that I can fly like Peter Pan? I doubt that you would consider faith to be a virtue a priori. I suspect that you would only consider faith a good thing if it happens to be faith in the same thing you have faith in.
God never changes. His promises 1,000+ years ago are the same today.
Does that include his instructions in the Old Testament for how to treat those who work on the sabbath, or his restrictions on handicapped people entering a church? Is God the same before and after Jesus’ crucifixion? Could God have given salvation to the faithful before Jesus’ crucifixion?
See, if God never changes, then the crucifixion of Jesus was superfluous and pointless. But if Jesus’ crucifixion DID have a purpose and DID accomplish something (like the salvation of man), then God does change.
October 17th, 2005 at at 5:50 pm
Thanx Uberkuh. I think that reverse psychology is a useful tool at times, and I think that we atheists should help Christians be as devout as they can and request that they pray for anything and everything, all the time. I want Western Chrsitians to outpray the Muslims by a ratio of 10 to 1. That means praying 50 times a day!
The more the better! Lets get the Christians to pray their way out of their current crisis of faith.
October 17th, 2005 at at 5:54 pm
Nicely said, Aaron.
J, you can claim your comment wasn’t meant the way that counselor at the camp meant hers, but it’s the SAME type of comment. There is NO difference. None. You think satan exists, she did, too. You think he wants to get his evil hands on our brains, she did too.
Theists are welcome here, but they need to have thick skin to survive. Most seem to decide to go off to lick their wounds before long. Some contribute interesting, intelligent perspectives that I happen to disagree with 99.9% of the time. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading what they say, as it’s helpful for me. It serves to solidify my opinions.
October 17th, 2005 at at 5:55 pm
Here here, addict_no_more. Well put
October 17th, 2005 at at 6:26 pm
A historical note on bible translation: the first English translation to be published was done by William Tyndale–who was burnt at the stake for it in 1536. The Catholics definitely did not like the unwashed masses being able to read the holy words of YHWH for themselves, in their own language. (Everyone knows that god spoke only in Latin back then.) They preferred to interpret it on behalf of the people, to make sure their souls were properly saved, you know.
October 17th, 2005 at at 7:14 pm
J wrote:
“You just love to put people down don’t you??? You must be the type of person who was picked on and now to make yourself feel better you have to pick on others. I feel really sorry for those people. Grow up.”
Three question marks. Is that shorthand for “Huh, huh, huh?” Isn’t that sorta like… picking on someone? You were the school bully, weren’t you? You turned to religion to justify beating your girlfriend, didn’t you? You turned to religion because after high school being a big boy wasn’t enough to pay the bills, was it? Aww.
Listen, all that juvenile behavior aside, I want you to know that I once stood in your shoes. I loved Jesus just like you do now. Each night I prayed that he would take away my sins, and each morning I awoke feeling like life was fresh and new. Except for my sore anus, where he raped me the night before in a gluttonous guiltfest.
What? You don’t honestly think Jesus chose twelve men to sleep with him every night by chance, do you? When he said to come after him because he would make fishers of men, believe me, he was saying a mouthful.
October 17th, 2005 at at 7:59 pm
J, please stick around. Arguing gets boring when everyone agrees with you. I apologise for those tht are swearing and calling names, please ignore them.
That being said, you said
“YOu can all think what you want, that is the way God made us.”
If God is responsible for the way I was made, then why do I not believe in him? I’m not a close minded atheist, I follow the proof. If I were made to recognize these “proofs” that you can apparently see everywhere, I would believe. But I’m not made that way, I’m made to question everything, to think freely and to not take an unprovable thing “on faith.” If, as you say, God made me that way, then he is not worthy of my worship.
October 17th, 2005 at at 8:00 pm
Oh ya, I made an html link for the first time ever! who wants a high five? Anyone?
October 17th, 2005 at at 8:59 pm
J said:
“I was called a idiot…”
It is AN idiot. The rest of your writing is equally distressing. It has been my experience the more intelligent one is, that the more likely he or she is to suspend belief in a god. The irony is, ofcourse, that those who write poorly tend to be unaware of exactly how little they actually know. Ignorance is indeed bliss.
October 17th, 2005 at at 9:25 pm
an angels advocat mit argu that som ppl thnk fastr than they typ but on th hole u mak a gd .
October 17th, 2005 at at 10:07 pm
Aeger,
Just for all you to know I am a female.
Aeger said:
If God is responsible for the way I was made, then why do I not believe in him?
Because God gave you free will. God will not treat us like puppets, just like we wouldn’t treat our own kids this way. God wants us to have faith in Him, that is why it is hard for people to trust Him because they don’t have a personal relastionship with Him. Can yo see the wind? No, but you know it is there. That is how I feel about God. I can’t see Him, but I know he is there.
Athiest Messia,
I am sorry that I am a poor writer. I was never very good in school, and tp pick on my writing is sad. You know you are right….I don’t know a ton about the bible. I have been saved for 6 years, and there is a ton more learning I have to do. You want to call me ignorant, then do. I know who I am and I am not ashamed of it. Just because I can’t spell great nor write with big words does not mean I am not intelligent.
October 17th, 2005 at at 11:11 pm
Onward the Christian soldier trods, always with a nod to God, whilst called a clod and nimrod by those at odds with God.
There is no more a rhyme and reason to tornado season than there is benevolence in God’s will that chimes with heathens.
October 17th, 2005 at at 11:36 pm
J said:
“Can yo see the wind?”
No.
That did not just happen.
Please tell me that someone did not seriously ask us why we believe in the wind if we can’t see it.
Brain. Imploding. Now.
Gah.
October 18th, 2005 at at 12:08 pm
Holy Ba-Geezus!
Too many things to comment on. You try to come in on a Monday, shake off the beer headache and get to work…
I AM, being a former bible college and seminary grad, the best “translation” to the original Hebrew and Greek is the New American Standard version. All have problems, as they are a translation of some form of “original” document. Original languages consisted of Paleo Hebrew (a type of pictures used), Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek. I apologize if I am singing to the choir.
God, where to start… that was a question. God, where do we start? (Silently waiting 35yrs for the answer)
October 18th, 2005 at at 12:16 pm
J and Danielle:
Are christians to keep the 10 commandments?
October 18th, 2005 at at 2:38 pm
Constantine,
YOur question…are Christians supposed to follow the 10 commandments?
Yes, but we are human and we will fail from time to time. But this is why God sent us Jesus. Jesus made Himself a sacrifice for us, for all our sins. When we sin we ask for forgivness we are forgiven (granted you really mean it, only you and God know your heart).
October 18th, 2005 at at 3:18 pm
“only you and God know your heart”
*sigh* does anyone want to go into this one, seriously, I have some work to do
October 18th, 2005 at at 6:34 pm
“Can yo see the wind?”
No, but I can feel it, and I’ve seen its affects and there’s scientific evidence that wind exists. Please come up with a better example.
October 18th, 2005 at at 7:13 pm
Aeger,
There is evidence of God, but you will choose not to accept it. And I do feel the effects of God in many areas of my life. We are never going to take what the other says to heart. I am done going round and round with you people. Face it, no matter what I say you won’t believe, and vise versa. I wish you all the best.
October 18th, 2005 at at 7:32 pm
This is inaccurate, J. No one chooses that God will exist one day and not the next. Belief is based on evidence and atheists, those who have beliefs about the deity of the Bible, find that this deity does not exist for various reasons, whether they like it or not. It is not as if atheists chose to do evil because they hate good. As a general rule, like C. S. Lewis said, no one does evil for the sake of doing evil. They do it for the sake of doing good. This is a major simplification of morality, but it works here, I think, because the problem is that what you call good or evil is based on a book, not reality, and atheists recognize this myopia for what it is.
October 19th, 2005 at at 7:28 am
If you are interested to see the person I am, go to my website at http://www.keepaneyeonus.blogspot.com. Please don’t write any rude comments. Leave that for this room. If you don’t respect my beliefs that is fine, but respect me as a person.
October 19th, 2005 at at 8:31 am
J
You have some really cute kids, congratulations. (see, we can be civil)
October 19th, 2005 at at 9:05 am
J:
Please don’t write any rude comments. Leave that for this room.
First of all, this isn’t a room. It’s a blog. If you want a “room,” find yourself a discussion forum or a motel. When commenting here, please try to stay on topic. This goes for everyone.
Second, yes, please save all the rude comments for me. I love them so. J’s blog is apparently hallowed ground, but feel free to be as unpleasant as you like on that dirty atheist’s site.
October 19th, 2005 at at 9:06 am
J:
One more thing. Stop linking your name to my site when you comment.
October 19th, 2005 at at 11:08 am
“they will be redestroyed!”
that was the funniest part of the whole piece….wow…
Its the little things like that….shows how silly the Bible really is.
October 19th, 2005 at at 12:26 pm
I AM,
I offered my blog so you can see me as a person, not as “J”. I see this as a room, I am sorry for not getting to wording right…sue me. As for the “rude comments” comment, well, I have been treated by some not so kindly and I didn’t want that on the site. I have family that goes there for updates.
Frankly,
Thank you for your KIND words, I think you are the only one that has been kind.
October 19th, 2005 at at 12:51 pm
J:
I try not to alienate the theists who visit this site. I am “The Evangelical Atheist,” after all. To whom whould I evangelize if the theists stopped coming?
I am sorry for not getting to wording right…sue me.
That kind of attitude isn’t going to improve the treatement you receive. I merely requested that you stay on the topic of the post. I hope you got some satisfaction from that subtle verbal twist of the knife, but it’s terribly unchristian behavior, don’t you think?
You are STILL linking your name to my site. That’s getting extremely annoying.
October 19th, 2005 at at 1:26 pm
You have a cute family, J. When I use sarcasm online, I don’t exactly lose sight of the fact that the brunt of my joke is a person, but I do cherish the disconnect that allows me to say what I feel. I consider this disconnect a refreshing way to connect with others through a sort of radical honesty, and I welcome it (which may partially explain why I like being online so much). Your problem is that no matter where you go, you are internally censoring your thoughts and feelings and calling this censor an outside spiritual force called the Holy Spirit.
October 19th, 2005 at at 3:58 pm
I AM,
What to do you mean when you say “I am linking my name to your site”? And yes, I fall short and get an attitude too. Just because I am a Christian does not mean I am perfect. There have been many times I could have lost my temper, but stayed controlled. Remember, I have all the same emotions that you do and they will come out at times. God never said I couldn’t get angry, just that when I do I don’t sin. I don’t think that I sinned here. If I did please point it out to me. I sometimes get blinded.
October 19th, 2005 at at 8:33 pm
J:
When you comment, one of the fields is “Website.” You may have noticed that the names of some commenters link to their websites. You keep entering evangelicalatheist.com as your web site. Stop it. I’ve had the site up since May, and no one else has found this challenging.
God never said I couldn’t get angry
“for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (JAM 1:20 NASB)
October 19th, 2005 at at 8:44 pm
J:
I was sitting here thinking thinking about how I wished I could remove the link from your name. Then I remembered something. It’s my site. I can. So, I manually removed the link from every one of your comments.
October 19th, 2005 at at 9:39 pm
I AM,
I did not know that that was what I was doing, using your website as my own. I thought that I had to put your website on there for it to go through. I am not in anyway a computer wiz. I apologize. I will have to look it up, but there is a verse stating not to sin when angry, but that you can be angry. I just got home and have to feed my son, so I am not much into searching for that verse but I will find it. Again, sorry about the problem I had with the website linking.
November 15th, 2005 at at 5:12 pm
Why is it Christians believe that we (atheists) have never read, studied or believed in the bible… do you count almost 50 yrs of bible reading, study, discussion, preaching, teaching, prayer meetings, youth groups, crusades (what a terrible word) etc. as a basis for commenting on your beliefs?… I have Strong’s concordance, Vines dictionary, at least 4 bible translations, including the OT that the Jews use, commentaries, books by Josh McDowell, C.S. Lewis, Billy Graham and the ilk, my wife still attends church and I still vote conservative… many atheists I know were once bible thumpers… some even bible college grads (1 even from Dallas Theological seminary, oh my)… it was actually by bible study that I came to my senses… it is cutting analysis of bible drivel of the type posted here that demonstrates what we finally found too much to swallow… I hope that given enough time & bible study, you too might see the light… and eventually move towards it…