This week’s dickery comes to us from the Old Testament book of Judges. An act of extreme cruelty by a group of heathens in the land of the Benjamites leads to civil war amongst the Israelites.

In Chapter 19, a Levite is travelling from Bethlehem toward Mt. Ephraim with his concubine and manservant. As night falls, the servant suggests that they stop for the night in Jerusalem. The Levite, however, insists that they press on until they reach an Israelite city. Jerusalem was a settlement of the Jebusites. They make it to Gibeah in Benjamin. After sitting in the street for some time, a man finally offers them a place to stay for the night. In what amounts to a retelling of the events in Sodom in Genesis, men surround the house and demand that the visiting man be turned over to them so that they can have sex with him. The owner of the house refuses, but offers the crowd the use of his virgin daughter and the Levite’s concubine. They refuse. The Levite hears what is happening and sends out his concubine anyway. They rape her and abuse her all night before letting her go. She returns to the house before sunrise and dies on the doorstep. The Bible refers the the perpetrators as “sons of Belial.” This is important. Belial is a demon associated with seduction and impurity. However, the apocryphal Book of Jubilees tells us that the phrase “sons of Belial” means uncircumcised heathens. These men are probably not Jews.

The Levite takes action. He SLICES UP his concubine’s body into twelve pieces, and sends them to the various tribes of Israel. They respond by gathering in Mizpeh. 400,000 warriors arrive, and messengers are sent to the Benjamites in Gibeah.

Now therefore deliver us the men, the children of Belial, which are in Gibeah, that we may put them to death, and put away evil from Israel. But the children of Benjamin would not hearken to the voice of their brethren the children of Israel. But the children of Benjamin gathered themselves together out of the cities unto Gibeah, to go out to battle against the children of Israel. (JDG 20:13-13 KJV)

The Israelites ask god what to do, and he says to send the people of Judah first against the Benjamites. They march to battle the next morning, and the Benamites slaughter 22,000 of them.

And the children of Israel went up and wept before the LORD until even, and asked counsel of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up again to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother? And the LORD said, Go up against him. (JDG 20:23 KJV)

The second day goes better. The Benjamites only kill 18,000 men.

Then all the children of Israel, and all the people, went up, and came unto the house of God, and wept, and sat there before the LORD, and fasted that day until even, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the LORD. And the children of Israel enquired of the LORD, (for the ark of the covenant of God was there in those days, And Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, stood before it in those days,) saying, Shall I yet again go out to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother, or shall I cease? And the LORD said, Go up; for to morrow I will deliver them into thine hand. (JDG 26:28 KJV)

On the third day, the Israelite forces, still being killed by the Benjamites, flee, leading the Benjamite army away from Gibeah. A second force of “liers in wait” then enters the undefended city, kills everyone and sets it on fire. When the Benjamites turn around and see the smoke rising from their city, they flee.

Therefore they turned their backs before the men of Israel unto the way of the wilderness; but the battle overtook them; and them which came out of the cities they destroyed in the midst of them. Thus they inclosed the Benjamites round about, and chased them, and trode them down with ease over against Gibeah toward the sunrising. And there fell of Benjamin eighteen thousand men; all these were men of valour. And they turned and fled toward the wilderness unto the rock of Rimmon: and they gleaned of them in the highways five thousand men; and pursued hard after them unto Gidom, and slew two thousand men of them.(JDG 42:45 KJV)

The Israelites then move through the land of the tribe of Benjamin killing every man and beast, and burning every city. Only 600 Benjamites escape with their lives.

Let’s review. A group of men who were probably not even Israelites rape and kill a woman who was offered to them for that purpose by a cowardly member of the priestly tribe of Levi. The Levite sends a Corpse-O-Gram™ to each of the tribes of Israel and asks for help. Yahweh tells the other eleven tribes to make war on the tribe of Benjamin. He sends them into two massacres in which 30,000 men are killed. Then, when they return to the lord, weeping, he tells them to go again because this time will be better. 400,000 Israelites with god in their corner are then only able to rout the roughly 25,000 Benjamites through trickery. Under god’s leadership, they chase and kill fleeing enemies, and slaughter innocent people throughout the land. Dick.

~I AM~

P.S. Carnival of the Godless XX is up at Silly Humans.