This series has, so far, focused exclusively on the Old Testament. In the OT I can practically open the book at random, put my finger down and find a good post topic. While the god of the New Testament (who is SO not the same god) is much less of a dick, he’s not innocent. This week we have an excellent example in which the New Testament god is selfish, ungrateful and of course, violent.

Soon after the death of Jesus, the apostles began to organize, and they founded a commune for Christ. Acts 4 talks about how individual possessions were unimportant, and followers sold what they owned and gave the money to the apostles. Barnabas, for example, “Having land, sold it, and brought the money, and laid it at the apostles’ feet.” [ACT 4:37 KJV] Immediately following that example, another man, Ananias, tries to contribute to the community. He sells some land and donates almost all of the money to the apostles. Well, in addition to being a jealous god, he’s a greedy one. Almost isn’t good enough.

But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land? Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God. And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things. [ACT 5:3-5 KJV]

While sudden deaths in the Bible are usually god’s fault, this passage makes it sound like Ananias died of remorse or a heart attack or something like that. We don’t clearly see god’s fingerprints on the trigger until Ananias’ wife, Sapphira, comes to see Peter three hours later, unaware of her husband’s fate.

And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much. Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband. [ACT 5:8-10 KJV]

Now the truth is clear. Peter, the rock upon which Jesus said he would build his church, foretold her death. This can only mean that it was god that killed her and her husband.

Let’s review. God wants people to give up everything they own and give it all to him (or his agents). Ananias sells his possessions and makes a donation to Peter. He hasn’t given enough, so god strikes him dead. Sapphira, who is only guilty of knowing about it, is also the victim of divine execution. The moral of the story? Don’t be stupid enough to make a donation to a religious organization, and you’ll be just fine. Dick.

~I AM~