Haiku / Senryu Contest
I came across some haiku on the web the other day, and I got the idea to write some for the blog. Since haiku are pretty quick to write, I thought I might be able to get all of you involved, also. Write some original haiku (or senryu, like mine) about anything related to atheism in a comment to this post. If you don’t know how to write them, follow the links. Most of mine are funny, but they don’t have to be. I’ll pick the five or ten best (depending on how many I get) and put them on a new Contest Winners page that I’ll create for this and future contests. The deadline for submission is Sunday, June 12 at noon. If you really like one that someone else writes, say so. I’ll take that into account when choosing winners.
Here are mine…
I lie here awake,
A burning deep inside. God?
Just indigestion.
A man in the sky
Who sees everything I do?
You must be kidding.
“While god does love you,
Only we can save you, so
Make a donation.”
If I made a rock
That big, I think I’d drop it
On Pat Robertson.
One word argument
To disprove Intelligent
Design: Platypus.
A joke on mankind.
Stop me if you heard this one.
In the beginning…
Echoes all around.
The wind howls through empty space.
Head of a theist.
Evolution is
Unpopular for those who
Have been left behind.
For god so loved the
Priests, that he gave altar boys
For molestation.
~I AM~
June 8th, 2005 at at 1:19 am
Evangelical
Atheist decides Summer
Contest is Haiku
June 8th, 2005 at at 2:54 am
Christians tend worship
Our President sends warships
Defense Budget soars
June 8th, 2005 at at 12:05 pm
All right, you asked for it :
Strength is in numbers.
Contraception’s forbidden
in Catholic church.
From Adam and Eve
to a virigin that conceives,
why should I believe?
The Old Testament
was just called the Testament
before the New one.
Why does god need cash?
Because without donations
all hell would break loose.
Here’s a little outdated one:
Bush chokes on pretzel
Atheists briefly wonder:
Might there be a god?
Yawning brings demons.
Sneezes exorcize demons.
Bless You! Body is cleansed.
Hitler had one nut.
Testicular fortitude
was not his strong suit.
Creationism.
The Spanish Inquisition.
Ignorance is bliss?
I had to throw in a good Russell Quote:
Trouble with this world
is that stupid are cock-sure
and smart full of doubt.
And what can I say? I’m a big Fins fan!:
Miami Dolphins
better off without Wandstant.
Saban is upgrade.
The Meaning of Life?
Life’s a bitch and then you die.
(Helps to have big dick.)
Belief is relief,
But prophets make profits, so
Beware of Dogma.
The root of evil:
Money given to churches
to uproot evil.
And my personal favorite:
Apologist in
Missionary Position
Uses Bible Belt
I can see the headlines now:
BOYWONDER STEALS SHOW!
RATTLES OFF SLEWS OF HAIKUS!
WINS bozo button
June 8th, 2005 at at 12:26 pm
Awesome site here. Just found it today.
I’ll contribute a haiku.
One can not ignore
masses of people who think
delusions are real
June 8th, 2005 at at 12:42 pm
God loves you… no! He’s
Dyslexia-created
it is dog who loves.
Sorry, only have time for one now. Wrote it while bored in my creative writing class. Seemed an appropriate use of time otherwise wasted.
June 8th, 2005 at at 1:54 pm
OMFG boywonder you got a lot of haikus! How can I compete with that???
Okay lemme try. I want to submit some haikus myself:
Christianity
Pretends you have a problem
Then sells you the cure
Communism’s dead
Christianity’s dying
Humanism rules
Capitalism
Is economic freethought
Die, Christian commie!
In a modern world
People will still kill for their
Invisible friend
Preachers rape young boys
From sexual repression
Is this how God works?
Priest says gays are bad
Then anally rapes a boy
This is God’s great plan
God loves all of us
Made us sinful by default
Can’t you see the love?
Two wrongs don’t make right
So how does innocent blood
Pardon guilty man?
God requires faith
But how does this make God’s love
Unconditional?
God’s mind controls all
Christian subjective worldview
Is nihilism
June 8th, 2005 at at 3:23 pm
Crucified for sin…
Resurrected the third day…
End this sacred myth.
The Bible proves that
Nothing could be further from
The truth than its lies.
Who was Jesus Christ?
Lord, liar or lunatic?
Merely a mortal.
Walking, stop, a watch -
Ticking intricately on
Just like its maker.
Atheists believe
Nothing by definition
Other than logic.
God cannot exist.
Logic’lly impossible.
Let go of the past.
June 8th, 2005 at at 5:38 pm
I’ve always hated how athletes point to the sky after they score.
Does god really care
How many touchdowns I score
In a football game?
June 8th, 2005 at at 7:45 pm
I AM, This one is your fault. I ‘ve been doing this all day:
Evangelical
Atheist has boywonder
thinking in Haikus.
June 8th, 2005 at at 8:07 pm
Haiku is the most
Addictive poetic form.
Just ask boywonder.
June 8th, 2005 at at 8:27 pm
I’m sorry gang, they just keep coming:
Perversion of sex
should have led to extinction
of the religious.
God’s Hermaphrodites
are a cross between Hermes
and Aphrodite.
June 8th, 2005 at at 8:55 pm
One more and I’ll call it quits for awhile:
Do not smoke reefer
when thinking of good haikus.
Your mind wanders far.
June 8th, 2005 at at 9:45 pm
Yes, I AM is right.
But I can quit anytime.
I just don’t want to.
Maybe we should try
Iambic Pentameter
or something harder?
June 8th, 2005 at at 10:17 pm
You KNOW what they say:
Haiku’s gateway poetry-
leads to harder stuff.
June 8th, 2005 at at 10:45 pm
The Ten Commandments
Christmas and suicide bombers
Damn godidiots
June 9th, 2005 at at 1:16 am
When falling from grace,
Remember to pack your bag
And pull the cord soon.
June 9th, 2005 at at 1:46 pm
This one is kinda dirty, but probably requires too much thought to get me into much trouble.
If Jesus came now
Do you know that you would be
Purified inside?
June 10th, 2005 at at 12:48 am
I am thinking of
making my best one into
a bumper-sticker:
Christians are looking
Somewhere over the rainbow
For brains…heart…courage…
Old Chinese Proverb:
Holy shit comes from
sacred cows. Bullshit comes from
Fundamentalists.
Anything in life
is bad for you in excess.
Air…food…sex…pride…god…
All I HAVE to do
in life is die and stay white.
(Tax is optional)
June 10th, 2005 at at 5:03 am
Atheist to Fundie:
“A mind is a terrible
thing to waste: please think.”
Fundie to Atheist:
“Have a piece of my mind:
I’m not using it.”
“I just spoke to God,”
Jerry Falwell says, “he said
to erradicate all gays.”
When ask’d for comment,
God shook his head, “Jerry Who?
I love gays… as friends.”
Were the bible a haiku
and the new testament too,
I’d read it, wouldn’t you?
Jehovah’s witness
keeps pounding my door. Witness!..
Protection Program
Robertson: “Liberals!
After evangelicals!”
What Xian majority?
speaking in haiku
is catchy, or no, Robin?
Err… boywonder?
June 10th, 2005 at at 3:26 pm
Good ones Pixelation!
I am reminded
quality not quantity
is the way to go!
June 10th, 2005 at at 9:34 pm
Somebody help me
(a dyslexic agnostic):
Is there a real dog?
June 11th, 2005 at at 3:26 pm
wait….wait….yes, that’s divine inspiration I’m feeling:
The Bible’s missing
A page, ripped out long ago:
“To my wife Susan”
June 14th, 2005 at at 1:05 pm
I found yours v funny I Am. Alas too late for the contest, but here are some of mine nonetheless…
Minds are deflowered.
The boy at twelve is the man.
Priests get there first.
“Whence cometh evil?”
Asked long dead Epicurus.
Curious remains.
“We can’t all be wrong!”
They chorus in a fool’s song.
But alas, they can.
What they believe in
is an accident of birth.
Why can’t they see this?
“Sell all but your shirt”
He said. But they pick and choose.
Call that following?
June 14th, 2005 at at 4:57 pm
shadeofblue, it’s too bad you were late, because those were wonderful haikus. You would have taken the cake.
June 14th, 2005 at at 5:15 pm
I strongly agree with boywonder. Those were excellent. There are AT LEAST two I probably would have selected. If I can come up with something, I hope to have another contest of some kind next month. I hope you’ll participate.